OMINOUS.
"Twenty year old, Jahani Graham, self-inflicted wound to temple. Found at 2:30 am by his dorm advisor and roommate." A nurse rambled off like an auction seller as blood rushed from the side of his head, the once beige bandage wrapped around his head crimson now.
He's just a kid, thought Dr. Gavon who's heart grew heavy at what the nurse said. He felt overwhelmed as all eyes were on him, doubt and worry filled the watching eyes of the team gathered around the body. Everyone in the room stood irresolute--uncertain of what action to take. The chance of him ever being able to leave this hospital was 0.001% and even with those odds in Dr. Gavon' palms he was still willing to try. Because behind every suicide victim was a family who also fell victims as well.
"Even if we were to save him he'd be brain dead. He wanted to be dead anyways well," A nurse spoke lowly but it was heard in the silent room. Dr. Gavon glared towards him while unwrapping the skull. The gun wound was deep, brains splattered on his shirt that was being cut off of him by a nurse and blood painted his face.
Every body in the room, well almost everyone, worked hard with the ounce of hope resonating in all of them. But hope wasn't enough. Hope didn't allow the boy to breathe again. Hope didn't live in him any longer. Hope was gone. "There's nothing that can be done." Dr. Smith, a fair-skinned woman spoke softly to Dr. Gavon who was still hovered over the unconscious body in front of him. Sighing in defeat while snapping the rubber gloves off, "You tried and that's all that matters." Encouragement filled her voice as she watched his mannerisms before obscenities left his mouth and the door swung behind him.
Dr. Smith pulled the sheet over the fallen body.
Trina sat in the depth of the darkness of her vacant apartment. Slouching on the soiled sofa that's been worn and tore of unforgettable memories--some she fought nights to escape her conscious. Chapped lips quivering around the butt of a cigarette that the man in front of her loaned. Tears welled in her amber eyes while slurs of lies left his black lips,"Baby, what you going to do for me tonight? I got that shit ya want." He flicked the bag of cocaine between his fingers causing her throat to clench and knees drag her to the floorboards, and she wasn't getting ready to ask God to free her from herself.
I'm an awful mother and I wasn't the outlet my son needed, wanted to flow from her lips but instead she flirtatiously cooed,"Whatever it is you want, love."
The male freed his manhood from the jeans that hung low on his waist. Trina gulped down the tears that were stinging behind her eyes, opening her mouth for access. For advantage. Her body becoming his wasteland--he wasn't the first and she didn't know who'd ever be the last. The tempo of music played through the paper thin walls dragging Trina from the terror in her living room. It didn't feel like her living room of her home, it felt like the place that was as close to hell you could get.
As if in routine, a natural procedure to her by now. She dumped half of the bag on the coffee table making sloppy lines of cocaine with a razor but it wasn't the one she occasionally drug across her wrists. Snorting two lines which became three then four and then the bag was empty with the faint presence of the absent drug. Yanking her fingertips through the messiness of her mane while tears rushed down her face. Her son was gone. Her first born.
Leaning her head back into the sofa as her mind wandered off to that day. When life wasn't so bad and worth living.
I stared back in the eyes of my abuser and called him the love of my life as faint giggles left my lips. The sun kissing our naked bodies, the tips of his callused fingers that worked more than the streets and knew how to please me in the sheets, across my impregnated belly. Harmlessly allowing his hands to caress me to satisfaction. "If I told you that I loved you tell me, what would you say?" Sekou spoke with his head hung low--vulnerability filled the air and in my head I was shouting with joy while my heart weeped.
"I'd say I think I'm falling for you and it scares the shit out of me." I met his gray eyes and remembered why I gave in, why I let him have me in every way possible, allowed all of those walls to come crumbling down for him. It'd be him every damn time, too.
He chuckled softly, but amusement didn't fill it,"You on the craziest high? Love, it'll make you do some crazy things." Dammit he was right, I furrowed my eyebrows and glanced over his concentrated face.
"What crazy things you do for love?" Sekou smirked, the kinds that you can't but smile back at and get all fluttery internally.
"Damn right." I ran my fingertips over his cheekbones, admiring the way the sunlight hit on his features making the moon jealous.
A sharp pain washed over my body but it was subsided by the way Sekou' full lips crashed with mine, I smiled against them and took his face in my palms. The pain came again this time making me moan out in pain. "I hurt you?" Shaking my head as my hands rubbed over my massive belly that contrasted with my slim frame.
"No, something's wrong." I mumbled, breathing out sharply and inhaling a few seconds afterwards.
"Something like what? You wanna go to the hospital or some shit?" Sekou climbed over the bed, sliding on boxers to his naked body while standing in front of me. I waved him away so that I could go to the bathroom--the pressure on my bladder caused water to rush down my leg.
Grabbing my crouch area and bending over,"Katrina." Sekou grabbed my arm as I groaned, holding the bottom of my stomach hoping it'd relieve the sharp pains shooting up through my body.
"Stop," I freed myself from his grasp. "I'm just going to go to the bathroom." Exhaling softly as I tiptoed towards the bathroom, the whirring of the fan and lights greeting me into the salmon nightmare of the room.
Easing my bottom on the top of the toilet, widening my legs so that my feet touched the walls as I continued the rhythm of inhaling and exhaling. I popped two Tylenol before starting the water in the empty tub,"Girl, what is you doing?" Sekou mugged from the doorway, tying my curly fro in an attempt of a bun before easing into the warmth of the tub.
"I'm giving birth. Get some towels." Astonished he looked at me as crazy as I was, going to get the towels. Groaning, moaning and grunting filled the bathroom while Sekou tried getting in contact with anybody to make their way towards the house. Nobody came and I didn't expect them to. I brought him into the world on a sunny Wednesday, there was no name picked out for him because I was indecisive but when Sekou took him into his arms and softly whispered,"Jahani." I knew it fit.
Trina felt the guilt tighten at her core as she mourned over her fallen son.
