The Lonely Moon

Another Tragedy

I woke up the next day to the alarm. As I started to get up I heard a voice next to me ask, "You sleep okay?" I look over and see Sarah stretching her arms and yawning. I reply to her, "Still had a nightmare, but I was taken out of it half way through and instead heard a melody that calmed me into a deep sleep, was that you?" She gets out of bed and goes over to the dresser to get a change of clothes, "Yes it was, when I got back you were asleep, but your were sweating and crying, tossing and turning, so I got into bed with you and cradled you in my arms and hummed a melody till you stopped." I grab a change of clothes too and go to leave the room so we can dress in private and say, " Thank you." After we both changed our clothes and ate breakfast we walked to school. Once we got to class, the teacher looked up when I walked in and said, "John, it's good to see you without the mask on, does mean that your starting to make some progress?" I look at the teacher and say, "I have'd some help, but yes I am starting to try living without having my mask." I quickly find my seat, all the while knowing that more then a few stares and rude words were passed around the class about the lack of my eye and my scaring. The school day went by without much happening until towards the end of the school day when the principal came into the room and whispered something to the teacher. The teacher looked towards me with a sad face and said to me, "John, the principal needs you in his office, please follow him." I got up and started to follow the principal, thinking that I'm going to get in trouble for not wearing my mask. Instead when we got to his office, my dad was sitting in one of the two chairs in front of the desk, the principal gesture for me to sit down and I do. I look over at my dad, noticing that his face is tear stained and he looked drained of all emotion. I look up at the principal as he takes his seat, then he starts to speak slowly, "John, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your mother was in a car accident this afternoon on her way to her evening job, she had apparently had been to sleep deprived and couldn't drive properly. It's with sorrow that I tell you, your mother has passed in the accident." Tears start to form in my eye and I have to avert my gaze to hid the tears, but quickly it becomes impossible to hide them. The principal stands up and makes for the door closing the blinds and says, "I'll give you two some time alone, so take as long as you need to." As the principal leaves, my dad finally raises his head and looks at me. I was thinking that he was going to hit me, or blame me so I started to stand when he said, "John... I can't ask you to forgive me for what I did to you, but I'm so sorry, I"m sorry, I'm sorry." He starts to break down, not being able to contain it anymore, "It's my fault, they both died because of me, I got them both killed and I took it out on you because I couldn't handle the guilt, I couldn't and I pushed it onto you." He keeps saying that he's sorry over and over again. Finally I think of what to do, I stand up and turn to him. He flinches thinking that I'm going to hit him, but instead, I embrace him while still crying and say to him, "All I ever wanted was my dad back, I blamed myself for what happened and that's why I thought I had to endure it as a punishment. I thought that if I waited long enough that you would be my dad again, moms gone dad, I was never mad at you, I never lashed out with violence, I know you blamed yourself, but I let you do it in order to protect you, I didn't want you and mom to blame yourselves  for what happened." My dad still shocked that I hugged him hugged me back tightly and said in a mumble, "John, you are still my son, you were always my son, but I was to blinded by guilt and rage to see that you blamed yourself for what happened, I'm sorry. Now that she's gone though, I can't stay here, I just can't it's too much for me to handle, I have to leave. Do you want to come with me or stay? You can keep the house if you want to stay." I say to him, "Dad, I already have a new home, I found someone who can look at me without my mask and say that she loves me, I found my home, I'm sorry, but I can't come with you, but I will promise you this, when we go to visit mom and sisters graves, we will go together, not alone." Dad sits up in the chair and says with a smile on his face, "I understand, this might be better, I'm glad that you found someone like that, for me, I simply want to live the rest of my life in peace and quiet, I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. Since you won't be using the house, I'll sell it and you can have the money I get from that and what mom had set aside to give you once you were older, It's yours now, I no longer want any of it, I will have enough to live the rest of my live comfortably. I have already made arrangements for a funeral, it's will be held in a weeks time at the cemetery, I'm having them bury her next to Julie. So I will see you there, for now I have some work to take care of so I have to go, but I will still come and visit you." and with that he left the office while I sat there and think about what has happened.