His Eyes, His Smile.

Part 6

I waited up all night and the next for James to come home but he never showed. He wouldn't even pick up his phone or answer any texts. I was so confused, he couldn't be mad at me for what I did while I was drunk? Nobody holds those kinds of things against you.. Right?

"Hey its James, I cant get to the phone right now because I'm probably busy making love to the sweetest girl in the world haha leave a message!" James' voicemail rang through my ears for the thousandth time.

"James, please come home. Babe, I need you right now. I'm so confused. We really need to talk, I need to see you. Please baby, just text me and tell me why you're not coming home at least, anything. I-I miss you, James.. Please.." I pleaded, leaving him another message.

Sick with worry, I hadn't touched any food except for one piece of toast since James had been gone and I felt like I was going to faint. I wanted James to be with me more than anything but at the same time I had to hold myself back from calling Cody. I didn't understand what was going on in my head. No sleep probably didn't help either. My longing for someone hung over me like a cloud. In the mirror, all I saw was lifeless, swollen eyes staring back at me; the dark circles under them making me look like the living dead. I made myself a cup of vanilla earl grey tea and sat on the couch staring out the window at the clouds, my mind raging with confusion and loneliness.

"Alice, wake up. I'm back." I heard James say.

My eyes shot open. I guess I had fallen asleep finally after waiting for him for so long.

"Oh my god, don't you ever do that again." I cried, throwing my arms around James tightly. "Why didn't you tell me you knew about me and Cody in high school and that he still liked me?" I asked, coming out of the embrace and searching his eyes.

"Alice, every one of my friends likes you. Even Matt does and he has a girlfriend. I thought is was pretty obvious. I just never thought they'd do anything about it. Cody is a horny bastard though, I just wish you had been the first to tell me about what happened back then between you and him."

"I'm sorry for anything I've done okay?" I said hoping James wasn't mad.

"I wasn't mad at you babe, I just needed some time to think about things. Did you know that night we brought you home, you said I love you in your sleep?" James said turning the corner of his mouth into a half smile.

James and I had always said things similar to "I love you" but never had either of us really said the real thing. I didn't find it strange though. It's not that we didn't love each other, it's just we both agreed we didn't want to throw around the phrase. We wanted it to keep meaning for us, so when we did say it for the first time it wasn't just out of habit.

"It's true, I do love you.." I testified, uneasily waiting for a response.

I so hoped that I didn't freak James out when I said it again for the second time.

"Oh Alice, I've been waiting for you to say that for so long and god dammit I love you too. I tried to think of all the possible reasons why I shouldn't say that yet but there are absolutely none. I love you Alice."

My chest felt like a twenty pound weight had been lifted off of it at the words "I love you". I was so relieved and over joyed I didn't even realize I had started to breath again.

"I was just afraid that when you had said it that night, you meant it for someone else.."James finished, his voice trailing off at the end.

"Oh James, you know I only love you!" I smiled, finally giving him a kiss.

Even more of my anxiety lifted as soon as our lips met. I had been waiting to do that since the moment he was back but I was so afraid he didn't want me anymore. In the middle of the kiss, a yawn came unexpectedly.

"Please don't tell me you've been up since I've been gone."

"I couldn't fall asleep without you" I yawned once more.

"Oh you silly goose"

James lay a soft kiss on my forehead and I smiled up at him with tired eyes. I was just so happy he was back that I didn't care how tired I was.

"I think it's time you got some rest now, love" James said, picking me up in his comforting arms and carrying me to bed. I didn't object, sleep sounded heavenly right now.

We both settled into our bed together getting as close as possible. The curtains shielded out the day, only letting bits of faint grey daylight shine through. James wrapped his arms around me, nuzzled his face into my neck and we fell into a peaceful slumber with tranquil smiles upon our faces. Cody was the farthest thing on my mind.