His Eyes, His Smile.

Part 19

Pacing up and down the length of our kitchen, my mind turned furiously. Anger was not something I was ever good at handling and this time I was so fed up with fighting. I balled my fists, trying to release the frustration I was feeling without going crazy with anger.

"Alice for fuck sakes say something."

I stopped pacing, turning my head up to meet the feisty chocolate eyes of Cody. Steam came out of my ears, I swear. With the last ounce of self control I had left, I pinned my lips together so tight it hurt. Closing my eyes, I pinched the bridge of my nose. My anger was cooling off and what was replacing it was gut wrenching sadness. My belly buckled and I stumbled to the floor, sitting down right in the middle of the kitchen. Sobs started to flow through me, making me shake all over.

"I-I can't.. do this anymore," I whispered in a faint voice.

A heard a deep sigh come from Cody and footsteps that followed. His arm reached around me, his hand starting a slow, soft, steady motion of massage on my back.

"Babe...," he croaked, his voice not cold anymore but falling apart. "Please d-don't cry. I'm sorry. I was wrong, I was stupid, I shouldn't have lied to you like that," he spoke softly. "God! I'm such a fucking idiot," he spat under his breath towards himself. My breathing began to steady and I finally opened my eyes to look at him. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were stained with two trails of salty tears from either eye. "What the hell is wrong with me?! It's like I'm destined to screw up everything good in my life. All I ever wanted was to be with you and now that I have you I'm doing a grade a job at fucking that up."

He sounded sincere but a small part of me was annoyed that he had made this about him. Still, the regret that was plastered on his face was unmistakably genuine and I started to feel bad for him too. "It's... It's okay," I breathed. "But maybe we should.. take a break.." My voice trailed off and I looked away from his face, not wanting to see his reaction.
The silence that followed felt like an eternity and my heart began to hurt from beating so hard. I turned towards Cody, finding him sitting in small pools of tears and I instantly broke down again. With shaky hands, I pulled myself up from the ground. Cody stood up as well, the expression on his face blank.

"I'm sorry. This doesn't mean I don't love you because I do Cody, I love you, but I think we need some time apart." I let out the deep breath I was holding in a loud sigh. "It doesn't have to be long but just enough time to get our heads back in a good place.."

Cody stared back at me, his eyes boring into me like ice pillars. "Okay." He finally conceded.

I put my arms around his neck and felt him pull me in by the small of my back. His heart was beating like a wild horse against my chest and I felt him begin to cry once again. Tears glossed over my eyes. Tightening our hug, I felt his heart begin to slow to normal. As I pulled my face out of the crook of his neck, I took in one last deep breath of his perfect scent. Our faces were an inch apart, our foreheads resting together with eyes closed.

"I love you Alice."

I met my lips to his and kissed him gently. "I love you too Cody."

~~~

"Claire?"

"Yeah this is Claire, who is this?" The voice on the other end of the line questioned.

"It's Alice..," I started. "Can I ask you a big favour?"

"What is it?"

"Can I stay at yours for a week or something?" I heard an audible sigh come from the phone.

"You don't talk to me after all this time and now you want to stay at my house for a week?!" She asked with a confused and slightly irritated tone.

"I'm sorry Claire, life was crazy and I didn't mean to lose touch but you know how things get.. It's just, me and Cody are kinda on a break and I have nowhere else to go." Desperation was apparent in my voice.

Muffled mutters were all I could here until she returned to the phone.

Claire sighed. "Fine, you can stay. But it's mine and Matts place and I swear to god if I see you come onto him even once I will take, you, down."

I heard someone laugh in the background and a smile came across my face.

"Ew don't worry, that won't happen!" I assured her.

She laughed. "Good. So should I expect you tonight? I'll text you our address."

"Sure that'd be great and thank you so much again Claire."

"No problem." The phone beeped with the end of the call and I felt a small pang of worry that a break was the wrong decision for me and Cody but I guess we were leaving it all up to fate now. Besides, a week would show if we were really meant to be and hanging out with other people will just assure us even more that were right for each other.
Looking back down at the screen of my phone, I scrolled the contacts list. Finding James' name, I started a message, my fingers slightly trembling. Just as I was about to hit send my phone rang.

"Hey Alice," a deep voice spoke, " it's James."