His Eyes, His Smile.

Part 17

We stood sniffling in each others arms for an eternity.
"Let's go inside and get some coffee." James suggested, at last breaking the silence.
My body felt weak as soon as James let go. Whether or not it lacked nutrition or affection I couldn't tell.
As I walked into our living room a strange feeling cascaded over me. The whole apartment felt different. Was it a new couch? Or a new rug? Or did he switch the furniture around? But then it hit me. All of James and I's pictures were gone. Every single photo of us had disappeared expect for the one that stood on his bedside table. The realization of what this meant hit me hard.
"James.. Where's all our pictures?" Trying not to sound panicked was impossible.

"Calm down. I didn't burn them like a crazy person and dance around the ashes. But Alice... I think we should talk."
Uh-oh, there it was. Those scary little words, "we should talk." Stupidly I denied the fact that this could ever happen but it was almost inevitable after everything. Still it stung like a bitch.
Formally we sat down on the bar chairs at the island, side by side. I bit my lip. The whole situation was unbearable.
"Alice, you know I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone.. But I don't think we can be together anymore."
Tears dropped from my eyes without permission. Words escaped me. Although this hurt so very much I felt nothing in me to plead that we stay together. Despite it all, my head killed and my heart pounded wildly.
James started to get teary eyed and turned his face away from mine to conceal it.
"D-don't cry Alice please, you know it kills me to see you cry." James cracked in a weak voice.
"I-I'm sorry James.. I just don't know what to say." I stuttered.
James remained facing away from me in stone hard silence and my mind started to go insane.
"James, I'm sorry if I sound crazy or if this is completely stupid of me to ask but why? I know after everything I probably don't deserve a reason or anything but please, please tell me. Why?" I sobbed. I couldn't handle the feeling of losing him so quickly. Everything felt so rushed and anxiety set it.
"You want to know why?" James echoed, as he turned back to face me wiping away a tear at the bottom of his jaw, "Because you slept with that sleaze bag Cody."
The intensity of his voice and the careful enunciation of every word sent a wave of shock through my body. Did he actually just say that?
"W-what?" I exclaimed, my mouth agape. "That's it? That's the reason?"
My blood was boiling inside of me.

"I just can't forgive you for cheating on me and especially with him. It was a slut move Alice and you know it." James retorted, staring back with tear filled, spiteful eyes.
Pain struck me but now with a new found sting. My eyes burned and my face was so hot it felt like it was aflame. What the hell had just happened? My mind knotted together trying to figure it out. One minute James was sweet and telling me he loved me and now he was calling me a slut.
"Did you honestly just call me a slut again?!" I snapped, bitterness coming through my teeth. James just stared back not saying a word. "How dare you. I am not a slut. But you, you are a cruel person. I was alone, and you never kept in touch and for all I knew you were behind my back fucking some Irish girl. So I went to someone who cared and maybe I screwed up but you're the one standing here saying that you can't forgive me after all the apologies? After everything? Even when you never said sorry about a damned thing you put me through?"
"I did nothing to you!" James screamed back at me slamming his hand on the table and standing up. His height made me uneasy as he loomed above me staring me down. "You know, it's funny because I actually did fool around a bit with Ashley," James said laughing unsettlingly. "she started it and I told her to stop but she really is quite persistent. Then I came home feeling guilty about it but when I heard about you whoring around with Cody, I knew it'd be of no comparison to even mention."
My heart hit my feet and my eyes turned from tears to hardened slits on my face. All I could feel was pain and anger. I couldn't even believe it was the same loving James I thought I knew standing in front of me.
"And to think I believed you ever loved me." I choked quietly, turning away from him and putting some distance between us. Inching as close to the door as possible.
"Are you kidding me?! You should be lucky I even considered that I was still in love with you after what you did!"
More and more tears poured from my eyes. The pain was so unbearable, I had to grab on to the the door handle to keep myself from crumbling to the ground. I couldn't take this any longer.
"Goodbye James." I said with a weak voice, grabbing my nearby bag and hurriedly walking out the door. I kept walking with my eyes glued to the ground even though I could hear James yelling at me to stay. If I looked back, I knew that I could've never left.
~~~
"Alice! Shit whats wrong? Come in!" Cody exclaimed.
Although I had been able to keep it together on the subway to Cody's house, once I arrived there the tears started up again.
Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror I saw that whatever eye makeup I had worn was stained beneath my eyes and continued to smudge everywhere. I looked like a deranged panda.
"What's wrong?" Cody asked, putting his arm around my shoulders as a support and taking me to sit on the couch.
As we sat down I realized the last time we had been on this particular couch was the night, the night that James blamed me for. The night that was his reason to break up with me. My body quivered at remembering the fight and the weak state I was in from crying yet I attempted to answer. "J-James broke up w-with me.. I croaked taking a short pause, "because I slept with you."

Cody's face lit up with shock. "What?"

I laughed inside at this because to me it wasn't a surprise that we'd break up but I guess the reason was a bit of a shock to me as well. Still I found Cody's reaction slightly humorous.

"A-and he also told me." I began, pausing to take a deep breath and trying to wipe away the tears that were trying to push through. "h-he had cheated on me.. then called me a s-slut."

"That bastard!" Cody exploded, "I swear to god I'm going over there right now and beating his face in."

"No! No Cody, please sit down, it's okay." I pleaded tugging on his shirt. "Just stay with me, please." I couldn't imagine them fighting and I didn't want James to hate me even more for it.

"Okay okay, I won't go, don't worry." He complied, sitting down and keeping his fingers locked with mine. "It just makes me so damn angry because you don't deserve to be treated like that. And after what he put you through, it's not fair. You're worth so much more than that kind of treatment Alice. And... and I just want the world for you." Cody said caressing my face lovingly and wiping the stale tears from my cheeks. His voice wavered as he talked and I could tell he was holding back tears.
"Thank you Cody, for everything." I replied giving him a warm smile and squeezing his hand a bit.

"Anything for you Alice. I..." Cody hesitated for a second and I could tell he was looking for the right words to say. "You mean the world to me."
The second he hesitated, I thought he was going to say I love you but when he didn't I felt rejected. He probably just thought it was the wrong timing but something in me wished he had said it.
Quickly, he changed the subject.
"So what are your plans now that you're single and homeless?" He asked, changing back into his playful self.
"Because I think I have a friend who could use some company in their bed." A subtle smirk crossed his lips.

"Oh really?" I laughed in a soft voice, trying to gather myself and play along, "And who might that friend be?"

"Well he's tall and handsome and very funny but I don't think you know him."
I let out a small giggle at his haughty self description.

"Hmmm sounds more familiar. Where does he live?" I questioned, furthering the game, a grin finding its way on to my face.

"Funny fact actually, he lives here." Cody stated as he motioned to his bedroom.

"Okay well let your "friend" know that if we're all in your bed, I get dibs next to you." I teased, softly laughing and wiping away the remaining tears off my cheeks.

Cody put his arm around me and pulled me close. Following suit I snuggled up to him, sighing into his chest. His touch was so comforting. I felt pounds of stress lifted from me.
"Things are going to get better Alice, I promise. " Cody assured, gently kissing the top of my head. I smiled knowing somehow, someway, he was right.

"Well I'm dying to meet this friend of yours so what do you say we meet him in bed?" I smiled looking up into his eyes.
Cody smiled devilishly  and squeezed me tight. "Race you there?"
I ran leaving Cody just a few seconds behind me. I toppled on the bed and Cody fell on top me.
"Hey you crazy, get off me." I squealed.
At that he simply moved even more on top of me till his eyes were above mine and all his weight was on me.

"Nah, I'm not going nowhere this is my bed." He said batting his eyes and pushing a lock of hair behind my ear.
I stared up into his smiling eyes and everything that had happened in the past couple weeks flashed through my mind. My heart beat went wild remembering all the moments with Cody. How he kissed me so tenderly. How he held my hand at the police office. And in this moment, nothing that had happened between me and James mattered anymore.  It was as if my mind was erasing all the bad things and leaving me only with an overwhelming fondness for Cody.
"Cody?" I said in a soft tone.
"Yes?"
"I love you."
Cody's face danced with happiness and it made me smile from ear to ear.

"I love you too Alice, so much."

This time when I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks, I knew they were filled with joy. Reaching up, I grabbed his face and pulled him into a deep kiss. Cody began to kiss me back with more passion than I had ever been kissed. His lips were soft and tasted sweet like candy. I smiled into the kiss and I felt Cody do the same. With one last lingering kiss he left my lips and rolled over beside me, so that his arms were grasping my waist. My eyes fluttered closed briefly and I felt my body fully relax.
We watched as the sun rolled down, igniting the sky a bright blood orange and soft pink and I fell asleep with a smile knowing that I was finally in the arms of someone who truly loved me.