His Eyes, His Smile.

Part 14

"I have to tell you something James, please wait just a minute.."

"What is it Alice, hurry now. We don't want to be late."

I couldn't have found a better time to do this could've I? It was the first time since James and I had started dating that I was going to meet his mum, the nervousness in the air was so thick you could see it. Nevertheless, this needed and had to be done, not postponed another minute.

I pulled in a quick breath and closed my eyes tightly.

"Remember when you were away, in Ireland with your dad?"

"Yes of course.."

"Well.. I was mad at you.. and I thought you had cheated.. and I had nobody.. and.." I carried on, not knowing how to put it in words.

"Alice really, please just say what you are trying to." James said anxiously.

"I kind of.. sort of.. slept with Cody."

James' expression drew blank.

"Slept like as in sleepover like you know just side by side?"

"No... I had sex with him.." James went from looking emotionless to furious, I was almost scared. "James. Please I didn't know-"

"I can't believe you fucking slept with him. What more do you need to say? Did you tell him you loved him too?!" he cut in bitterly, his accent rough through his words.

-well fuck- I thought in my head,

-why did he have to say that?!-

James looked at me intently. "Oh no. Alice no, please say you didn't.."

James started to pace like a mad man.

"I can't believe you Alice. I've done everything for you, been here for you always, and this is how you treat me?!"

"I wasn't thinking James, people say things they don't mean sometimes when they're confused. I had thought.. you and Ashleigh.."

"Stupid slut, why don't you just have an orgy with the whole fucking school." James spat under his breath.

"Excuse me?!"

"Just, just stop okay. I really need some quiet right now. Go away."

At first I felt bad but now I was just as mad as him. "Did you just call me a slut?!"

James started down the hallway and I followed close on his heels.

"James?!" I yelled, my voice weak from holding back tears.

Hurriedly he pushed me out of the way and slammed our bedroom door in my face. I heard the lock click.

"Come out here! Stop acting like a child!" I screamed, pounding at the door with my fists. "AT LEAST I TOLD YOU, at least I was honest! Is this what I fucking get for telling you the truth?!"

No sound came as answer from behind the door.

"AHHHAGAH, fuck you okay. I'm trying but you won't even communicate with me. God damn it James, I love you, you know that. But I can't do this, either talk or I'm gone."

Still no answer from James came and with that I grabbed my bag, tears streaming down my hot face, and slammed the front door behind me.

~ ~ ~

I walked so fast away from the house that if I had went any faster, I'd be jogging. My anger started to steam off and I could feel hurt and sadness fill its place. My once angry tears turned to blubbering bursts and I sat down on the curb of the road, my face in my hands.

I had nowhere to go.

I couldn't to go to Cody's house, he had started this whole thing to begin with, bringing up our high school crap?! And I certainly could not go back home. I felt so stranded, deserted and alone that even the traces of sun on my back felt unwelcoming and cold. Wiping smeared makeup out from under my eyes, I turned to face the sunset behind me.

It would be dark soon and I began to panic a bit. Starting to walk I tried and tried to think of somewhere to stay. Close in the distance I could see the big yellow M of Mc Donald's.

Walking into the store, I felt a bit of relief. It smelled of fries and old buildings. Finding a table for myself in the far back corner, I sat and drank a coffee.

Slowly sipping my coffee, I tried to prolong my stay as long as possible but the clock struck 12 AM and I had been in the store for 4 hours.

"I'm sorry ma'am but this is considered loitering now, you'll have to leave."

"Sorry." I muttered under my breath walking out of the store.

The same panicked feeling I had had before started to come back. School was in the morning and I needed somewhere to sleep till then. Feeling thankful we lived close to so many places, I remembered the old park down the road. Ten minutes and I was there.

The old cement bench in the park became my temporary bed and I used my bag as a pillow. Scared to death, I lay trying to sleep and wondered if James was even the slightest bit worried about me.