Forever (GirlXGirl)

Chapter Nine

Music fills my head and I nod along to the beat as I sit on my bed and rest my tired, heavy leg on top of a pillow. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and let the music take me away to another world. A world where everything is simple, no stress, no drama, no Jayden, no school, no cheerleading.  Melody and I, alone in our own passionate little world. After our talk I realize that she needs me just as badly as I need her, if not more. She's been hurt, I can tell by the way she flinched when I went to move the hair away from her eyes, the pain leaks out like a toxin with each word that she speaks. It she would let me I know I could save her, heal her.

I am shaken out of my fantasy world by a text message interrupting my music, and to my excitement when I check it it's a message from Melody asking if she can come over. My heart beats with excitement as I tell her yes and hop out of bed as fast as I possibly can with the cast and try to find the cutest outfit that doesn't make me look like I'm trying too hard. I have to take a few deep breaths and remind myself that there's a good chance she just wants to come over and study, but I will gladly take any reason to spend extra time in her presence.

I check myself out in the mirror, and smile at the thought that maybe things could be more manageable if Melody was mine. Not easy, and definitely not uncomplicated, but if we are happy will any of that even matter anymore? I feel like with her by my side I could easily take on the world.

After I answer Melody I hear no answer back on when she wants to come over, so I just go downstairs and make something to eat as well as clean up a little before my mom gets home while I wait. The thing about my moms job is I actually really never know when I will see her. Often she stays late reading over cases, there are even times she just sleeps at her desk or on the red leather couch she has tucked away in the corner of her office. I often miss her, but it's definitely a routine that time has made me used to.

I plug my phone into our stereo and blast my favorite song, then I begin to half limp half dance around my kitchen as I throw some eggs in a pan to hard boil for a snack. I sing along to the lyrics and throw my hips around, wiping random parts of the counter as I shimmy by. One of the biggest reasons I did cheerleading was because I love to dance. The cheer team just had a much better track record than the dance time, that rarely even got to compete or perform at the games.

I shake my hips hard from left to right, then do a quick spin, I then stop dead in my tracks and nearly have a heart attack when I see Declan standing outside of the sliding glass door, with his hands on his knees, bent over laughing at me. I feel my face grow extremely hot and I charge over to the door and slide it open.

"What the hell, ass hat!?" I yell as I walk out and push his shoulder. Declan keeps laughing and holds up one finger, signaling for me to give him a minute. I push his other shoulder.

"Aye, chill I need to use that later. I was just coming by the see what's up and I caught the show." He said with a chuckle. I fold my arms in front of my chest and glare at him.

"It's rude to watch people when they don't know it, ya know." I say, standing on my tippy toes to make it seem like I'm not only 5'2".

"Don't make me sound like a weirdo, it's not like I was sitting here stalking you, how was not supposed to stop and watch the comedy routine?" He says, then bursts out laughing again. I'm assuming my cripple dance did look pretty ridiculous.

"Shut up and get inside." I say as I turn around and stumble inside the house, ignoring Declan's chuckles behind me. We sit down at the bar in the kitchen. I grab a wooden spoon from the little glass holder and shove it down my cast.

"You're repulsive." Declan says as he scrunches his nose, I laugh. It's a good thing I'm a lesbian because I don't think I'd be able to get a guy to stick around once they see my gross habits.

"Thanks, babe." I say with a kiss as I continue scratching and Declan fake gags.

"I hope you're not planning on cooking with that later." He says, I laugh.

"What? This is what I'm using to make your dinner, you need the little extra fiber."

"Okay, stop you're just nasty!" Liam laughs. He looks me in the eyes, and suddenly the mood shifts and he gets very serious.

"So, what's been up with you lately Harper?" He asks, with that worried look that Declan is known best for.

"Nothing, what do you mean?" I ask, playing stupid. He looks at me. Looks into me, reading me like I'm an open book.

"I dunno, you tell me, is there anything that I could mean?" He asks. Everything inside of me wants to tell him, but I am so afraid. I cannot really imagine Declan having a bad reaction, but just the thought that he might paralyzes me with fear. Then again, I cannot live my life in fear, and I also can't live the rest of my life in the closet.

"Well. I guess, I'm just dealing with a lot of stuff right now." I say, losing my nerve. I didn't expect that I would be telling anyone besides Melody this soon. I wasn't even positive that I was going to tell anyone else besides Melody at all.

Declan looks down at his hands and sighs, like he's trying to figure out what to say or how to ask. I would help him along, but I don't know how to navigate this conversation any better than he does.

"Look. We've been friends forever, if there's...anything you need to get off of your chest, I'm right here. It's not good to keep secrets, especially not big ones." He say, clearly hinting that he at least had some idea about my secret. I look down at my finger nails, then take a long, deep breath. You can do this.

"I'm gay." I blurt out, not at all how I meant for it to come out. I look up and see Liam looking at me, a look of shock on his face which I'm definitely not expecting. He notices my growing worry due to his silence and he quickly recovers.

"Sorry! I just wasn't expecting you to say it like that. Girl, I love you, you being a little queer ain't gonna change shit. Besides, I've known that since the second week we were friends." He says, making it instantly easier to breath. Declan is such an amazing friend, I should have known that I was making too big a deal out of coming out to him.

Before I even realize I'm crying Declan is wiping away my tears and pulling me into a giant bear hug.

"You're not going to cut all of your hair off and start wearing baggy pants with chains now, are you?" He asks, making me burst out laughing. If there is one thing you can always count on with Liam it's comic relief. The rest of the night is nice, with the weight lifted off of my shoulder I feel more like me, like I'm no longer hiding. It makes me realize that coming out might just be the thing to ease my anxiety.

I check my phone periodically, waiting for Melody's message to come through letting me know that she is here or on her way, but hours go by without even a single text. When Declan leaves I sulk up to my room, assuming that Melody just forgot about me. I am shocked to open my door and see her sitting on my bed, looking through one of my school notebooks. She looks up at me and smiles, almost making my heart stop dead in it's tracks.

"What are you doing here?"