Forever (GirlXGirl)

Chapter Eight

I listen to the hands on the clock annoyingly tick by as I sit at a desk with my ankle rested up high on top of the desk next to me, just waiting for Melody. She's about thirty minutes late and I'm starting to think that she might not be showing up, she wasn't in class either but she sent me a text telling me she still wanted to be tutored after school. After last nights dream I'm not sure if I want her to show up, I'm not one hundred percent sure I could look her in the eyes without my heart exploding.

I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and send Melody a text, letting her know that I'm waiting for her, and decide that I might as well pull out my makeup bag and try to make myself look like less of a zombie, ever since I've had this stupid cast on I feel like I've been too depressed to do much of anything.

Ten minutes later when I'm done apply a quick coat of makeup and some mascara I'm almost ready to leave when a girl with platinum blonde hair walks in, it takes me a second to realize that its Melody.

"You died your hair." I say with a smile, completely taken back. She was gorgeous with pink hair, but this blonde is just indescribable against her smooth porcelain skin. If this girl doesn't stop taking my breath away I'm going to have to start walking around with an oxygen tank.

Melody looks up at me, the blonde hair make the green in her eyes stand out more than before and I swear I feel my heart literally stop, she is the embodiment of perfection I swear.

"Nothing gets past you, does it?" She asks with a smirk. Our playful back and fourth is something that I live for, but it seems like she is still stand off ish from yesterday. I enter figured out what I could have said to set her off, but I definitely do not want to do it again so I decide how is not the time to bring it up.

"Nope, sorry hun but you can't sneak nothing by this girl. It looks good, I like it. A lot." I say, putting a little bit too much emphasis on "a lot" and realizing it immediately but not being able to think of anything to say to cover it up. Melody gives me a look, and I know that she is starting to figure out my dirty little secret, because I am not at all playing it cool.

"You're...interesting." She says, her gaze boring into my soul like she can see everything. I squirm in my seat and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, nervous habit.

"How's that?" I ask, knowing exactly what she's trying to get out, she knows, she's just not positive. I can understand why she's confused. It she knows anything about me she knows I've always dated guys, popular guys. I've always been so cookie cutter, I'm not sure if I'm ready to shatter that image to anyone. Anyone else besides Melody that is. A huge part of me wants her to know, wants her to know who I really am, but the rest of me is afraid to even say it out loud.

"I think you know how." She says. I don't look at her, I can't. Suddenly I feel a lump in my throat, and I want to cry.

No, there is no way I am about to cry in front of Melody right now. I'm but even sure why I'm getting so emotional, maybe it's the fact that she's confirming what I am. I was hoping that maybe I was still wrong. Suddenly I feel her hand touching mine, I look up at her, willing the tears to stay in my eyes and it fall.

"Hey, chill. You're good. No one knows?" She asks. I sniffle, so attractive, and shake my head no.

"I'm not even sure that I know." I say, pathetically.

"Yea, I remember feeling like that. Before I came out I felt so lost and lonely, like no one in the world could ever understand. Like I was broken or something." As Melody speaks it's like she's repeating my own thoughts back to me.

"Was it hard for you? To come out I mean." I ask, hoping maybe she will tell me that there is nothing to be worried about and that after she came out the world turned into a bunch of rainbows and butterflies instead of mosey and stress.

"Um. Yes and no. It was hard because I lost some people that I was really close to, but on the other hand it felt like it kind of gave me my life back. It's not fun hiding who you are to please other people." She says.

I look into Melody's eyes that, instead of being closed off like they usually are, now they are filled with compassion, and I feel like I can tell her anything, so I do. I tell her about how I've known that I was gay ever since I was a little kid and that I just never want to believe it. I tell her about my mother, and how hard it is to keep such a secret from her. We talk for what feels like hours, me opening about almost everything, of course leaving out the parts where I have been having vivid sex dreams about her for the last few months.

I've never been able to open up to anyone like I have opened up to her, the whole time she strokes my hand, listens, and shares hard stories and good times from her own life, but never truly letting me in or telling me what happened to cause the painful wall that she carries around, but I am ok waiting the rest of my life for her to tell me, as long as it means she won't go anywhere. Sitting here, in our own little world looking into Melody's eyes I see everything that we could b if she would just give me the chance, and it is beautiful.