Forever (GirlXGirl)

Chapter Fourteen

My body feels like it is floating as I run my hand slowly through Melody's hair. She glides her finger tips up and down my left arm, causing the little hairs to stand on end. Everything in this moment is perfect, the view, he smell, the vibe. I couldn't ask for anything more.
My head spins with Melody's scent, cotton candy and spice. The world rotates gently around us, and I watch this beautiful creatures' chest move slowly up and down with each long breath she takes. It's on this moment that I realize this is heaven, pure and absolute, and I am so very lucky to be able to experience it.

I wake up, groggily, and shove my face back into my pillow, not wanting to get up and face the day. It isn't until I think more on the dream I just work from and instinctively reach out, my fingers hungrily searching for Melody's milky smooth skin, but they are only met with empty space. I pick my head up, scanning my bed, and quickly realize that she is gone.

"Melody?" I call out. I wait a few moments too long, longing to hear her voice in my ear. My heart drops, and I let my face fall back into the comfort of my pillow. I don't feel like I am a very emotional person, but I feel tears stinging my eyes, which of course makes me feel stupid. It's not like we messed around or anything and she just up and left. It actually seems like she has an issue with being touched, which for someone like me who has zero experience in the lesbian sex world I am completely fine with. I just wish that she would open up to me more, stick around in the mornings, send me cute texts, you know, normal teenage dating things.

I decide to check my phone on the off chance that maybe Melody sent a text explaining her absence, which I know is way to much to ask for. Instead I'm greeted my messages from Declan, asking how everything went last night and if I talked to Melody about anything. Just thinking about bringing up a subject that might upset her gives me a headache, I'm just getting to a point where she is stating to let me in, the last thing that I want is for her to push me away because it stupid questions. I again send a message asking him to just tell me himself, knowing that for whatever reason he won't. It worries me, because as far as I knew I didn't think Declan and I kept secrets from each other, especially ones that seem to be as 'need to know' as this one.

I suddenly think back to a memory, only a few years ago, of Declan and I sitting in his basement, smoking a joint that we had stolen from his older brother Brandon's room. Smoking isn't something I do much anymore, mainly because I'm not even sure who or where to get it from, but it's definitely something I would love to do again. I've smoked a with Liam a few times, this particular time we had a toilet paper roll stuffed with tissue that we were blowing into to hide the smell of the marijuana. I remember feeling relaxed, happy, fuzzy, and a little light headed. Even the smallest things that Declan said or did would make me burst out with laughter and feel even more at peace with myself.

The memory brings a sad sting to my heart, which I hate. Him sneaking around and hiding things is making memories that once used to make me so happy turn sour, and bitter. I sigh and slowly sit up, flashes of last night play over and over again in my head, and I wish more than anything that Melody had been here when I woke up.

I think of how much my life has changed in such a short period of time, and though I'm happy with some of the directions my life is going, I miss my friends. Going from constantly being around at least one other person to spending a large percentage of time by myself rocked my world a little bit and I'm still not sure how to get used to it.

For most of the day I do nothing but mope around and obsessively check my phone hoping for a text that I know isn't going to come. The feeling that I got ghosted is starting to set in, and I have to find something to do before the sting in my heart drives me nuts. I put my headphones in and take out a notebook.  I start to write, anything and everything that has happened over the last few months. Every little thing connects and leads me to clearer conclusions about my life. Writing is something I used to do a lot before I started cheerleading and lost all of my open free time. I write about my cast, and how I am so excited to get it taken off in the next few weeks.

The pages about Melody range in emotion, from excitement to sadness and confusion. I wish that she would let me in, just tell me what's going on so that I can't help her. I barely even know the girl, but I feel like my connection to her is so strong.  I just want to save her from whatever is going on.

I get so carried away that I don't realize I spend more than half of the day just sitting on my bed, lost in my own mind and my own world, something I really think I've been needing to do. I can't say that it helped me make any life changing decisions or anything, but I think I'm a lot less anxious.

I feel my phone vibrate and it jerks me out of my own realm. My heart races when I see it's from Melody. She explains her disappearance and absence all day on a family emergency but doesn't want to talk about it any further, and of course like the sucker I am I gratefully take that answer and run with it. We text for an hour or so, I keep a constant smile and she sends me sweet texts, telling me how beautiful and special I am, and how sorry she is that she wasn't here when I woke up. My heart flutters, and I feel like my heart is floating as light as a feather. My phone lights up with a phone call, and my heart swoons when I see it's from Melody.

"Hello?" I answer, trying to sound sexy and not nervous.

"Hey Beautiful." She answers and I smile. I'm not sure what happened in the last 48 hours but suddenly Melody is sweet and flirty and charming. Could I be breaking down some of those walls that she has up?

"Hi," I giggle like a little girl, making even myself nauseous, I clear my throat before finishing "how are you, is everything ok with your family?" I ask.

"Uh, yea, no everything's totally fine now we got it taken are of." I want to ask her what happened, but knowing Melody she might hang up on me if I try to get too person, and that is the last thing that I want.

We talk for hours, about anything and everything, I didn't even think there could be this much more to talk about between us. She officially knows more about me than anyone else, most of my fears and secrets. Melody tells me things about her life that she never wanted anyone to know, her mother who doesn't give a shit about her, her absent father and the step dad who came in and made her life even harder. I can tell that she's holding back information, but it's fine. We have all of the time on the world to share secrets.