Jessie Jones

Chapter 15: Is it too late to say sorry now?

I banged the door to our house as I entered the house. I smelt the aroma of mom's cooking and saw James and Jason sitting in the living room watching television. I ignored all of them as I ran upstairs to my room and hid my face in the pillow. I will not cry! I will not cry, I had been doing nothing but crying since I came back. I cried like twenty times in just four months. And I usually cried like once in a year, only in rare occasion will you see me crying. I was sixteen years old girl , actually almost seventeen why will I cry.

I was so confused and lost. It was not easy. I didn't know how to absorb all the information. It was not like it's a lot of information, it was just a little piece of information. Mr brown told me everything in not more than three sentences. I didn't know if that's all or if there was more, because immediately Mr brown finished saying the last sentence Nate came in and told me it was time to go home.

That was how I rode home crying silently with a very worried Nate besides me asking what was wrong. I would loved to tell him everything, explain everything to him but each time I opened my mouth to talk I remembered the promise I made to Mr Brown not to ever talk to Nate about what we discussed. I didn't know why he made me promised about a hundred times that I won't talk to Nate about it. I don't what he was hiding from Nate. I don't understand why he didn't want Nate to know. I felt like if Nate knew why I was like that it would be better for him and for all of us, but I didn't argue, he knew what was the best for his son.

I was so angry at myself, so angry for not being here, when he needed me the most. What was I doing? Why didn't I stayed in contact with them last year.

I was so angry at everyone else, maybe every single person in this world excluding Nate. Why didn't anyone tell me? Mom , dad, Jason, Rivers, Evan, Alicia , Nicole even the teachers or other students in the school. I was sure every one knew Nate and I were best friends. And since Nate's father was one of the popular business men, I was sure the news would be every where. At least someone should have been a good person and told me.

If only I knew earlier, I wouldn't have been so hurt. If I knew I would have treated him differently. If I knew I would have understood him, I would understand why he acted like that, I would have found a solution by now. All those wasted tears,Of course I did have my suspicions, so close to the truth was it, but I never wanted to believe my self, I always hoped it was something different. It's like your biggest fear turning to out be the reality.

Rivers was right it was for my own good if I didn't know the truth. It was so much better when I didn't know. I felt a little bit relived when I heard it, but it hurted more more than it relived. It hurted so much. California was so much better . Why didn't I say just there, why did I even come back? I wouldn't worry too much if I was there.

I decided to just sleep, I was tired of thinking about it. All those over thinking may cause damage to my brain . I put on my pajamas then cuddled with a teddy bear under my blankets. I picked my phone to play my talking Angela, surprisingly, I saw one new message. That day was not my birthday, who texts me on a normal day?? NO ONE.

Is it too late now to say sorry? yeah I know oh-oh that I let you down.

I smiled when I read the text message then pressed call button. He was just who I needed then. He was the one that could cheer me up. I didn't hold grudges, I had already forgiven him long ago.

"Hello," I heard his beautiful voice from the other line.

"Hello Rivers,"I said with a small smile of my own.

"See am very very very sorry Jessie , I don't what over took me ,I really regret what I did and I know I will continue regretting it for the rest of my life. If I can turn the clock once in my life time I will definitely turn it now, am really sorry." He said going straight to the point. I sensed the he was very nervous. Of course I had forgiven him long ago.