Jessie Jones

Chapter 16: What the hell have I done?

" Rivers you don't understand, it is not easy seeing him everyday and knowing he doesn't remember me or all those memories of us. It hurts so much. I can just stand there and act like everything is fine because it is not. I have to do something about it," I said almost close to tears.

It had been a week since I knew what happened to my best friend.   After crying for almost two days I decided to just continue living like nothing happened. Since he was still the same and we were then very good friends like before, I felt like I could just forget about everything that happened  but unfortunately I couldn't. Trust me I tried my best but nothing worked. Whenever I looked,at those green eyes I remembered,all those beautiful moments we spent together. And it hurt to think he just saw me as a new friend that had only been in his life for not up to year while I had been in his life for about thirteen years. We had been best of friends for thirteen good years.

Apart from that whenever I see him, I felt sorry for him. I couldn't just look at him or act around him the way I had been acting the last six months. When I came back , I looked at him as an arrogant fool,I thought he had changed. I felt like he thinks he is above everyone just because he is in the fsquare.  I couldn't blame my brain for thinking like that because of the way he acted on my first day of school. When I started to get to know him, I realized he hadn't change at all. He was still the same little cute boy that was my best friend. He may had change the way he dressed and maybe the way he talked with others but his heart was still the same. Then I started getting used to him. I started relying on him. And before I knew it we are best friends again. He was still the same but there was something wrong  with him. Then I started looking for what's wrong with him. When I had figured out what's wrong with him. It was complete different case.

I looked at him in a very different way. I looked at him as someone who loss his mom and memory. I couldn't just talk to him anyhow, I thought about everything before I say it. I felt like I couldn't  talk about mom in front of him because he would remember his mom and feel bad. I looked at him like a fragile toy that could be broken anytime. I also felt really bad that I wasn't there when he needed me the most. I felt the need to help and I was very determine to do so. One thing that I knew was I could never bring back his mom but I may be able to bring back his memory.

"I know, I know Essie. We will figure something out. I promise," I heard Rivers saying through the line. I had completely forgotten we were on a phone call. Nate had just dropped me off from school.  And immediately I got off from his car, I called Rivers. I was so tired acting like everything was alright, I needed someone to comfort me, so I went straight to the garden, lay down on the grass and called Rivers. Yes Nate still picked and dropped me to and from school. And we always hanged out in school together, I had been trying to avoid him though but I couldn't.  Apart from terribly missing him that I knew I would do if we stop hanging out, I knew a tiny little thing couldn't break us apart. I couldn't  find an excuse to stop hanging out with him and I couldn't just go and tell him hey Nate, I am Jessie we have been best friends for thirteen years, you had an accident and lost your memory that's why you couldn't remember me. Since you can't remember me, I don't think we can hang out anymore.

"I hope we can,"I answered Rivers. We talked for sometime then hang off. I stood up from my very comfortable position and headed to the door. We must had a guest because I heard some noise and immediately I opened the door I saw a black girly boots.

"Hello Sis," James ran and hugged me immediately he saw me.

"Hi James," I said hugging him back and ruffling his blonde hair .

"Guess who is here," he said happily.

"Urhhmm I don't know please can you just tell me," I said with my best puppy dog eyes.