SEJAK - sebuah novel Majida

Bab 10 + 11

         

Bab 10

Aku membaling sebiji bola keranjang kepada Andrew.

"You got suspended from school?" Mulut Andrew ternganga saat bola itu disambutnya.

"That's not important," kataku.

"What do you mean it's not important? I'm only nine and you're as the older one is not really setting a good example here," laung Andrew saat dia membaling bola itu semula.

"For god's sake, Andrew, I was never good. And why does that matter? Didn't you hear me? She held my hand and she kissed me! She freaking kissed me, Andrew! She kissed me!"

Aku tidak dapat menyembunyikan riang gembira dan terujanya suka di saat aku melontar bola itu ke dalam jaring. Terasa seolah insiden itu tidak akan pergi jauh bersama masa jika tentangnya aku sebut dengan kuat-kuat. Senyum dia. Senyum dia yang melekat di pipiku.

Andrew ketawa saat dia berlari untuk mengejar bola. "You're really weird," laungnya padaku.

"Old news," ujarku, tergelak.

Tetapi Andrew teruskan lagi. "In fact, the whole concept of love is confusing. One moment you said you didn't need her in your life, the next moment you said you were already badly smitten by her. How could someone ever be sure of their feelings if they are always incessantly changing?" Retorikal kedengaran soalan dia.

"It is more vivid than you think," aku bagitahu dia.

"How so?" tanya Andrew.

"She gives me butterflies." Jika ditanya aku yang enam bulan lepas, aku tidak rasa aku akan percaya atau menjangkakan bahawa ayat itu bakal keluar daripada mulutku. Ada kemungkinan besar yang aku bergolek di lantai ketawa.

"That's it? Butterflies?" Andrew masih tidak yakin.

"I feel good when I'm with her. I feel good listening to her and I want to laugh at every single thing she does, as everything she does is adorable and she astonishes me, always. I constantly want to stare at her although it is nerve-racking to do so. Simultaneously, interestingly, it is also very calming. It feels right―" Walaupun ianya tidak. "―and I've found myself this absurd shape of happiness that before I didn't know could exists. Nothing needs to make sense anymore, Andrew. Not even the fact I'm telling a nine year-old about my love life."

Andrew ketawa dan mencuba untuk memasukkan bola ke dalam jaring. "Technically, Hud, your love life is still non-existent. She's still with the other person, you say?"

Haih, tak bagi peluang langsung budak ni. Sebagai hukuman, bola itu aku curi daripada dia dan aku lontar tepat masuk ke jaring. Tidak seperti dia, bola aku berjaya.

"What are you going to do about him?"

Apa saja yang aku boleh buat pada ayah aku? Aku menghadiahkan Andrew sebuah senyuman. "Nothing," jawabku.

"Nothing?"

Aku mengangguk kepada pertanyaan dia dan aku tidak berasa aku bersedia dengan soalan yang seterusnya.

"Don't you want to be with her?"

"I'm always with her."

Andrew mengangkat kening. "You are?"

Hairan kedengaran. Tentu sahaja. Mana dia tahu identiti sebenar dia yang tentang sedang kami bicara. "I mean, I sometimes hang out with her. That's enough, I guess."

Andrew masih memandang aku hairan. Dia mengeluh. "One thing I've learnt – from my almost ten years of life―" Tiada bunyi sebelum serentak kami ketawa mendengar sarkastiknya pada diri sendiri "―you always want more."