Void

Ch. 1- Abducted

"Shall Life renew these bodies?  Of a truth All death will be annul, all tears assuage?  Or fill these void veins full again with youth And wash with an immortal water age?" ~Wilfred Owen

Chapter One- Abducted

July 24th, 3:05pm

I walk out of the school building.  Boys lean against the building popping the pill that gives them emotions.  In a few minutes they’ll probably feel angry or sad because of the gene but in an hour they’ll be fine again.

I read descriptions about how emotions should feel but I can’t fully understand.  How could simple words make someone’s heart break or make you act like a little child?  I could take the pill to find out, but I don’t care enough to go through the trouble.  I place my hand over my heart as I’m walking and I can feel it beating.  I can feel something there but it has no capacity.  It’s empty.

My brain tells me to eat and I hear my stomach growl.  This is hunger.  I’m supposed to be able to feel the pit of my stomach and possibly experience hunger pains but I can’t so my brain tells me to eat instead.  It’s part of the gene.  In school we read about how the first few people they tested the gene on died of hunger and a wealth of other things that come from not being able to feel emotion.

I’ll be home in a few minutes and my mom will be asleep while the maid is preparing some difficult meal that will take hours.

As an initiative to get the gene the government offered money to whoever would take it, that is, before it became mandatory.  Since my mom and myself got the gene before it was a law we both got half a million dollars.  She spent hers on some stocks and a bigger house for us and mine is still sitting in a bank account, waiting for me to graduate high school.  College wasn’t exactly a huge thing for me, seeing as I didn’t care, but the government tells us that we are required to go.  We should want to further ourselves, and we can do that only through obedience and education.

I opened the door to my house and was greeted by the smell of some soup.  The house is warm and the lights are dimmed.  What would I feel if I could?  Comfort; a state or situation in which you are relaxed and do not have any physically unpleasant feelings, maybe that's it.  I wonder what that feels like.

“Hello Danielle,” my maid welcomed me in an empty tone.

I didn’t know her name.  We hired her as our made while she was still capable of feeling.  She didn’t become like us until it became a law punishable by death.  The government viewed it as treason, one of the only crimes that still occur.

I nodded at her.  She didn’t seem bothered by me not knowing her name and I wouldn’t have cared if she was.  She was middle-aged, somewhere around thirty eight or so.  When we first hired her she was fatter but after a while she slimmed down to the form she had now.  Her hair used to be short and brown, but now it was nearly past her butt and contained strands of grey that reflected sunlight.  I guess you could call her pretty, not that anyone would.  Why would they?  It’s not like anyone would ever care.

I trucked up the carpeted stairs to my room.  Throwing my book bag down on the white carpeted floor next to my bed, I walked over to my bookshelf.  My eyes scanned the many titles until I pulled out the one I’ve read time after time, The Scarlet Letter.  There’s so much emotion in it.  Love, guilt, dignity, regret, revenge.  Most people don’t read like I do, they don’t care, they don’t feel boredom and no teacher ever assigns books with so much emotion.  Besides, no one writes books anymore, not unless it's educational or about how much the government helps our society.  Music, books, all forms of creativity were eradicated when the gene was created.  I read because reading makes me feel like I can almost feel.  I can read the characters stories and get lost in it be completely consumed by the storyline.  The older books are always better.  The words are… different.  They make me feel alive like I have emotions again.