Void

Ch. 5- Cease

 "I need not to be afraid of the void.  The void is part of my person.  I need to enter consciously into it.  To try to escape from it is to try to live a lie.  It is also to cease to be.  My acceptance of despair and emptiness constitutes my being; to have the courage to accept despair is to be."  ~Michael Novak

Chapter Five- Cease

July 27th, 4:39am

            My eyelids shot open.  I glanced around frantically, searching for someone to calm me down and reassure me that everything was just a dream.  A light directly above my head, blinded me and gave me an immediate headache.  I could feel something digging into my arm, causing me to be uncomfortable.

            “She’s awake!”  A male’s voice yelled in a neutral tone.

            I held my hand up to block the light and narrowed my eyes, searching for the source of the voice.  Josh’s dark brown hair and muddy green eyes came slowly into focus.  His pale pink lips twitched at the corners like he was fighting a smile.

            “Josh?”  I questioned, making sure I had the right name.

            I knew I did, it was hard to forget your kidnappers name.  His jaw clenched and he reached his fingers up to his jaw to scratch the new stubble that had started sprouting from his jawline.

            “Yeah,” he answered gruffly.  I heard a short laugh from the other corner.

            “So the void and you are on a first name basis now?” A female voice resounded from the corner.

            I turned my head to see Rebecca.  Her long, dark brown hair fell in waves, perfectly framing her flawless pale face.  Her brown eyes narrowed at me in pure unadulterated hate.

            “Calm down Becca, she’s Jaxon’s toy,” Josh spoke reassuringly.

            I was Jaxon’s toy.  What did he mean by that?  Rebecca rolled her eyes at his comment and looked as though she was trying not to throw up.  All of a sudden, I heard a door screech open.

            “You may go now.”  Brantley’s voice dismissed the pair.  They got up and left as I struggled to sit up on the flat surface I was lying on.

            More light flooded the room and I could finally take in the details of my surroundings.  Below me, there was a thin mattress covered in a white sheet that sat atop of a metal table.  The floors were concrete instead of the white and black marble that was located everywhere else in the mall.  The room smelled vaguely of mold and some kind of sterilizing soap like the kind found in hospitals.  I glanced around at the walls that were chipping away the white paint that was supposed to be covering them.  Along one of the walls, I could see several medical devices such as scalpels, masks, and gloves among other things.  On the opposite wall, I could see several beakers and test tubes that were half full with different liquids.  A microscope and other machines sat on top of a counter.  I couldn’t decide if I was in a science lab or a hospital room.  I glanced at my arm to see a clear tube attached to my vein with a needle sticking into my arm.  I could hear Brantley behind me, shuffling through papers and moving around.

            “I had a dream,” I told him bluntly.

            Voids don’t dream, ever, yet somehow I managed to have a nightmare.

            “I thought you might,” Brantley’s deep voice sounded behind me.  I could hear his pen scratching over his clipboard in a slow, rhythmic way.