Void

Ch. 4- Dream

 "We become aware of the void as we fill it."  ~Antonio Porchia

Chapter Four- Dream

July 25th 3012, 7:52am

            I watched closely as Jaxon reached up and rested his right hand on the gate.  I heard the slight sigh that escaped his lips.  His intense eyes were now appearing less aggressive.  Now his gaze was blank, making it impossible to pinpoint an exact emotion.

            “I really wish I hated you,” Jaxon said.  His voice was icy and filled with anger and frustration.  I didn’t understand how his face could tell one thing and his voice and actions display something completely different.  “I wish you were evil or did something terrible to someone who didn’t deserve it,” he slowly started to ball his fist up again.  His eyes darkened and his jaw clenched.  “And I wish more than anything that you stop staring at me with those big brown eyes like I’m the bad guy here.”  I blinked rapidly at his words.

            Had I been staring?  Yes, I had and possibly drooling a little.  My fingertips shot up to my chin.  Luckily, there was no drool.

            “You are the bad guy,” I said confidently after I collected my thoughts.  “Kidnapping and holding someone hostage isn’t exactly considered a good thing,” I said sarcastically.

            “I didn’t kidnap you,” he said as he backed away from the gate.

            He took a seat in Brantley’s old chair and leaned back with his arms crossed over his broad chest.  I found my gaze sliding over his biceps and down his chest and lower until my eyes settled on his stomach.  A warm feeling spread throughout me.

            “You done eye raping me?”  Jaxon’s voice interrupted my thoughts.  I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

            Am I seriously blushing?  I thought, slightly annoyed with myself.

            “I-I wasn’t… I wasn’t eye raping you,” I stuttered...nervously, causing me to blush harder.  A smirk crossed his face.  Damn him.

            “Sure,” he said sarcastically.  A wave of anger welled up inside me.  Was he calling me a liar?  I was lying, but that doesn’t mean he could point it out.

            “So what if I was?”  I asked confidently, all trace of the blushing stutter was gone.  He blinked in surprise.  “Are you disgusted that I would actually think I could look at you like that?  As if I could ever be good enough to have the privilege of looking at you,” I said sarcastically.  Part of me was saying it as a joke; the other part was completely serious.  Was he disgusted?

            “It’s only natural that you want to undress me with your eyes,” He said leaning back even further and held his hands up.  “I do look pretty fucking amazing,” He stated confidently.  I laughed as I looked at him with admiration.  How had he managed to defuse the situation so easily?  With one statement, all of my anger had evaporated and I was left genuinely laughing

            “If you say so,” I said nonchalantly.

            “You disagree?”  He asked while raising one of his bushy eyebrows at me.  I shrugged as if it didn’t matter.

            “I’ve seen better,” I said.

            Lie.

            “Don’t get me wrong you’re cute, just not hot, sexy, or drop dead gorgeous.”  I continued.