Suicide Notes

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One

Anna-

Squinting as I stepped out of the airport into the bright California sun, I could already see the difference between what I left and what life here was going to bring me. No more dreary overcast skies filled with rainy weather. The air carried the scent of the ocean and maybe a slight hint of oranges as well. I couldn't wait to spend some time down by the water, relaxing in the sun, mingling with of thousands of other beach goers. Yes, coming here early and getting in a summer semester was the perfect decision.

Sighing deeply, I attempted to release some of the heaviness I still felt in my heart. I wondered if Caleb even knew I was gone yet. I hadn't told him I was leaving. To his knowledge, I was still sitting in my parent's house ignoring his phone calls. I'd left my phone there, along with all the other mementos of my shattered life, wanting to distance myself from it as much as possible.

My parents had been completely bewildered over my sudden reappearance at home and the fact that I was a bawling mess. Even though it obviously had to do with Caleb, they didn't pressure me for answers and I didn't give them any, simply telling them there was no hope for a relationship with him and I'd decided to leave.

They lectured me to not make any rash decisions while in a bad state of mind, but when they realized there would be no stopping me from making an escape, they stepped right up to help me get things taken care of. Now, here I was on California soil, ready to catch a cab to my new dorm room and begin my new life.

Dragging my rolling suitcase behind me to the waiting row of taxis outside of LAX, I stepped in line behind several other travelers who needed a cab.

"Where to?" the attendant asked me when I reached his podium.

"Cal State, Northridge, please."

"The LA campus?" he asked and I nodded. Soon I was comfortably seated inside; listening to popular music the driver was playing on the radio. Staring at the tall buildings of the city as we made our way out of the airport, I suddenly felt my first wave of homesickness for Seattle. Skyscrapers, and the water nearby, reminded me too much of home; but at the same time, it was comforting as well. It made things not seem so completely foreign.

Without speaking for the entire forty-five minute drive, I observed the diverse cultures of the sprawling city as we passed through the different districts and I wondered what life here in Los Angeles would bring my way. I didn't know anyone here. Shortly, I would meet the roommate who would be sharing one of the school provided Phase I apartments with me. I'd been lucky to get in so quickly, but I was sure the generous donation from my parents had sped the process along as well.

The cab driver unloaded my suitcase for me when we arrived. I paid and tipped him using the credit card my parents had given me. I had money of my own saved, but they were worried about me having enough to get by on comfortably. I appreciated their help.

Sighing again, I dragged my suitcase, and my heavy heart, toward the Resident Advisor's room.

***

"You must be my new roommate, Anna! Hi! I'm Holly Johansen."

Eyes wide, I almost wanted to start crying when my roomie stuck her hand out in a friendly manner to shake mine. The universe was definitely playing cruel tricks on me. It was going to be awfully hard to forget about Jessi when I was now rooming with a girl who could have practically passed for her twin. Her hair was a little shorter than Jessi's, but the same pale shade of blonde, dyed dark underneath, and she had big blue eyes like her too.