Damaged...But Not Broken

Getting Settled

Jessica and baby Noah were released from the hospital a day later. When they got home, Danny and Jessica took their baby boy into their bed room.
They decided that he would sleep in a bassinet in their room for now. Jessica's body was still sore and she couldn't bend down to put Noah to bed, so Danny laid his son down in the bassinet that Sarah and Lily gotten for them.
They take a moment to look at Noah and smile. They still cannot get over that their baby was finally here.
Jessica wipes the tears from her eye and says, "I think I'll try to get some sleep while I can."
"Yes my love. You need to rest. You just fed him before we left the hospital so he should be okay for a while." he says and kisses her.

Two hours later, although to Jessica it felt like she had just closed her eyes, Noah began to cry.
"I'll get him." Danny says.
Jessica yawns. "I think he's hungry."
Danny hands Noah over to Jessica. She lifts up her shirt and places Noah by her breast and he quickly latches on.
The rest of the day is uneventful. Danny and Jessica do their best to adjust to having a newborn in their lives.

*2 weeks old*

Jessica and Danny got into a routine of feedings, diaper changes, trying to sleep when they can.
Danny got a call to audition for an upcoming movie. He decided to go to the audition; and it was going to be the first time Jessica would be alone with the baby without Danny's help.
Before Danny left the apartment, he put the bassinet in the living room. Jessica was tired of the bedroom and wanted to have a change of scenery.
Baby Noah just finished feeding and was now asleep. Jessica was drifting off to sleep on the sofa when there was a knock on the door.
Jessica sighs and gets up to open the door.
"Hey Jess!"
"Hi Sarah." Jessica says with a yawn. "Come in."
Sarah hugs Jessica and they head to the living room.
"Where's my nephew?" Sarah says spotting the bassinet.
"He just fell asleep."
"Oh sorry Jess." Sarah whispered. "I'm sorry to just drop by like this. I should have called."
"It's fine." Jessica laughs a little.
They sit down and Sarah says, "I was wondering if you wanted to go for the fitting for your dress for the the wedding."
Jessica looks down, "Oh no, I'm so sorry Sarah! I know I'm supposed to be helping with wedding stuff for you and Lily but I've just..." she trails off and begins to cry. "I still have this belly and I don't feel like trying on a dress. I feel hideous. I've failed you both as a maid of honor!"
"Awe Jess no! It's okay really! Lily and I have everything set. We booked yours and Danny's hotel room and flight to and from Hawaii. And well, as for your dress, we can go next week for your fitting." Sarah gives Jessica a hug and tries to comfort her.
Jessica continues to cry; Noah begins to stir, sensing his mothers distress, a few seconds later he begins to cry.
Jessica gets up and him picks up.
"Shhhhh....it's okay baby boy. Mommy has you." Jessica says swaying back and forth trying to calm him but still cries harder.
"Jess, calm down, please. It's okay."
"I'm sorry, I just...my hormones are still all over the place and it has only been one day but I got used to Danny helping me..." Jessica trails off.
"I'll take care of Noah while you go and take a nice warm bath or if you like to take a nap."
Jessica hands Noah over. "I think I'll take a shower instead." She gives Noah a kiss on his cheek.
Sarah nods and begins to comfort Noah. She puts his pacifier in his mouth and he slowly begins to calm down.

Jessica takes a quick shower; she gets dressed in black yoga pants and a black t-shirt and brushes her hair. She feels a lot better, refreshed.
"I'm so sorry for my emotional outburst." she says coming back to the living room. "How's my baby boy?"
"He fell back to sleep." Sarah says looking down at Noah. "I can't wait to have a baby of my own."
"You're going to make a great mother Sarah. Look at you, you look like a natural." Jessica tells Sarah. "Becoming a mother is the best thing that's happened to me." Jessica pauses and places a kiss on Noah's head. "I...I've just been so scared about everything lately. It didn't hit me until after I had him; all these fears came rushing into my head. This world is cruel place and I'm afraid that, as he grows, this world is just going to destroy him." Jessica begins to cry once again.
Noticing that Jessica was reaching for Noah, Sarah hands the baby back to her. Jessica holds her baby boy in her arms and instantly feels relief. 
Jessica sighs and says, "Geez, I'm a huge mess. But my little love bug makes everything so worth it." She gives Noah a kiss, "I'm sorry baby boy, mommy will be normal again soon...I hope." Jessica laughs.
Sarah looks to Jessica with sadness in her eyes.
Jessica notices, "Everything okay Sarah?"
"Yes...it's just...I can't wait to hold my own baby some day."
"Awe, so you and Lily will go to a fertility clinic after you come back from the honeymoon?"
"Yes! I want to do this as soon as possible!"
Jessica says to Noah, "You hear that Noah, your going to have cousins to play with in the future."

Danny returned home from his audition and Jessica told him about her outburst that she had with Sarah.
"I honestly don't know what came over me, I just broke down. I don't understand." Jessica said while shaking her head.
Danny held his son who was staring at him.
"Did you miss daddy?" Then turning to Jessica. "It's understandable Hun."
Jessica sighs, "Yeah...after she left though I was fine."
"So are you going next week to do your fitting?"
"Yes, we are going Monday. I'm so happy for Lily an Sarah! I'm just nervous traveling with are little love bug on a plane."
"It'll be fine, he sleeps most of the time."
Jessica lays her head on Danny, "You're right, but I'm buying ear plugs for who ever needs them."

Sorry for this being a boring chapter . This was more of a filler chapter. New chapters to come soon! ☺️