Living With The Sidemen (A Sidemen Fanfiction)

Chapter 38

*Mackenzie's POV*

If someone asked me what is the most painful thing I've ever endured, I would answer childbirth. No matter what. But, I've been blessed with a beautiful daughter. "Ready to go home?" Kay asked me, smiling. All the guys have gone home already except for Simon. I had just been released from the hospital and Freya had run and got the car seat that they bought months ago. "I sure as hell am." Isabella said, standing up from the chair beside the bed. Simon was holding Karmyn, still smiling down at her like he's been doing all day. I got out of the bed slowly, grabbing the bag of clothes that Freya brought me. "Oh my God, I am so happy I'm not fat anymore." I said, walking towards the bathroom. I heard a few laughs, but nothing from Simon. He had been quiet all day, too. But I can tell he's happy. He's scared too, but so am I. I got dressed quickly. When I got done, I looked in the mirror. I looked horrible. I had been sweating and my makeup has been smudged and smeared everywhere. I smiled, it was all worth it. I put my hair into a messy bun. I grabbed the bag and walked back into the room. Simon was standing now, still looking down and smiling. "Shall we?" I asked, grabbing the car seat. "Who's riding with who?" Isabella asked, slipping her phone in her pocket. "I'll drive my car. Whoever wants to ride with me can." Simon answered, looking up for once. "I will." I said, grabbing the door handle. As we walked through the hospital, many people looked at us with that 'Awww' face and it made me smile. After Karmyn was safely in the backseat and Simon and I were in the front seats, I sighed. "Tired?" He asked, starting the car. "Extremely." I answered. "On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate that pain?" He asked, backing out of his parking space. I looked at him, unsure how to answer. "14." I said. He looked at me with raised eyebrows. "I'm serious." I said, looking at the road in front of us. He chuckled lightly. "Why're you laughing? It's your fault." I joked, pushing his arm lightly. His face softened into a guilty expression before a smile appeared. Then, he sighed. "I'm happy, you know? I'm excited." He finally said. "Whatever happened to being scared?" I asked, leaning back against the seat, looking out the window. "I'm still scared. It's just-I don't know. You have to be feeling the same as me, right?" He asked. "I see the way you look at her. You love her. So do I. I don't think I've ever loved anything so much." I admitted. "Anything?" He asked. "Anything." I said, nodding. It was quiet for a few moments. "Do you think we can do it?" He broke the silence. I sighed. "Honestly, yeah I do. It'll be hard. It'll be horrible. It'll be the toughest thing either of us has gone through, and that's saying a lot. But we can do it." I said, looking over at him. I saw him gulp. "It'll all be okay. Don't worry." I said, reaching over and tapping his knee. He nodded slowly, even though I don't think he was too convinced.

I was woken up by a cry. I quickly got out of bed, turning on the lamp beside my chair. I glanced at the time on my phone. It was 4 AM. I hope this wasn't waking anyone else up. I looked down at Karmyn in her crib before swiftly picking her up and cradling her in my arms. I sat down in the chair, gently rocking both of us back and forth. She stopped crying quickly, but I didn't stop just yet. My door opened, and I glanced up. Simon walked in slowly. I gave him a tired smile. He came in and sat down on the edge of my bed, staring at us. "Did she wake you up?" I whispered, leaning back against the chair. "No. I was editing and I thought I'd come check up." He said. I nodded in response. It was quiet for just a little while. I made sure Karmyn was completely asleep before standing up as slowly as possible and putting her gently back into her crib. I rested my hands against the edge, looking down at her. A smile tugged at my lips. I wasn't lying when I told Simon I've never loved anything more. Simon appeared at my side, his arm going around my shoulders. This is how I pictured us months ago, and now it was actually true. "I love you." I heard him whisper. As much as he as said that to me, only now did I think he genuinely knew he meant it. I looked up at him, and he was already smiling at me. I sighed. I was in love with Simon, but I honestly didn't know if I could do it again. I knew I was in love with Simon. I knew that the day I pressed play on that video. That might sound a little strange to fall in love with someone over a computer screen, but I had done it. I had loved all of the Sidemen more than any other YouTubers I watched. All I had to do was press play, and they were there for me. And now, all I have to do is open my bedroom door or dial one of their numbers. It's unbelievable, still after all this time. I still get choked up thinking about it, which is why I shouldn't be thinking about it now. So, I decided to see if Simon actually meant it. "Loving someone is different than being in love with someone." I said, looking into his eyes. A small frown appeared on his face. Then, I had thought that he wasn't actually in love with me. "Mackenzie Renae Bradley, no words can describe what I feel for you anymore. I know I had fucked up in the past, but today at the hospital, I-I just felt it, you know? That fuzzy feeling you get in your chest. I had never felt that before until today. I looked at Karmyn and felt it, I looked at you and felt it. I-I look at you and I feel it. And-And I look at you and I-I'm home. I don't want that to go away, I don't want to forget." He said. He was getting choked up, making a lump form in my throat every time he stuttered. "Did you just quote Finding Nemo?" I asked. A small smirk appeared at his lips. "It is one of your favorite movies." He said. Now, we were facing each other. "Simon, I love you too. I've been in love with you for ages, but I don't think now is a good time." I said, nodding my head towards the crib. He looked down at his feet, before looking up again. He closed the space between us, intertwining our hands. He leaned in, and I felt my eyes closing and my head leaning in. Our lips connected, and it was just amazing. I had missed this. God, I had missed this so much. Our lips fitted perfectly together and moved in sync. Like they were made to be together at all times. Soon, we pulled away, breathing heavily. He rested his forehead against mine, looking into my eyes. "Will you wait for me? Will you wait until I'm ready?" I asked him, my voice really quiet. He kissed me once more, a short, passionate kiss. "Of course I will." He said, smiling as he pulled away. There was a small, quiet cry from the crib and I pulled away from him, looking down. Karmyn was awake now, just staring at the ceiling. "I'm gonna go to bed." Simon said, but not yet moving from my side. "Goodnight." I said, smiling at Karmyn. "Goodnight, love." He said before finally turning around and leaving. I heard the door shut and let out a sigh. I didn't know when I would be ready, but Simon might have to wait a while.

A/N
I can't anymore! This is just too cute! In the wise words of Tyler Oakley, "I cannot even. I can't even. I am unable to even. I have lost my ability to even. I am so unable to even." XD I hope you all have/had an amazing day!

See ya! x