Living With The Sidemen (A Sidemen Fanfiction)

Chapter 30

*Mackenzie's POV*

     Did I feel guilty? Yes. Did I feel like I missed out on a chance to make everything better? Yes. Do I feel bad for Cal? Yes. All of these things. Yes. Cal had informed us over a text message that his-our-dad passed away. I mean, he hated me, I hated him. But I told Cal I would apologize when I got an apology first, and I still hadn't gotten one. And finally, was I still attending the funeral? Yes. The funeral was actually today in about two hours. I had just gotten out of the shower and was walking slowly to my room, drying my hair and a towel wrapped around my body. It had been about two weeks after I announced my pregnancy and I had actually gained a noticeable amount of weight. Not anywhere else but my belly. It disgusts me, not going to lie. But after the whole thing with Isabella and JJ's miscarriage, I refuse to complain about it or make it a bad thing. "Hey." A voice made me snap out of my thoughts and I had my hand on the doorknob to my room. I looked up to see Simon. "Hi." I said, turning the doorknob. "What time are we leaving?" He asked. "In like an hour." I said, pushing open the door and going inside. He nodded and I closed the door behind me. I sighed to myself. All this time and I still wasn't completely over Simon. I knew I wasn't, it's just hard to admit that. I got dressed slowly since we still had a while before we left. Then, I went to the bathroom. Simon wasn't in here yet. I looked at myself in the mirror. My whole body. My leg, my growing stomach. Everything. I placed a hand on my stomach and turned sideways. It's even worse then. The bathroom door opened and I pretended like I was starting to brush my hair while Simon started to brush his teeth. Even as I was doing my hair and makeup, I couldn't help but to let my eyes wander over my body. "You alright?" Simon asked me. My eyes went to his through the mirror and I aged him a small nod. "I'm sorry about your dad." He said, running a hand through his hair. "He's not my dad." I corrected him, picking up my mascara. "Biologically." Simon said. "And that's it." I said, holding back a sigh. "I actually meant that I'm sorry you never got to fix things before...you know." He said. "Yeah, well, me too." I said. "Why didn't you when you had the chance?" He asked, not looking at me. "Because Cal wanted me to apologize to them." I said simply. "Why-" he started. "Simon, I really don't want to talk about it." I interrupted him. He stayed silent while I finished my makeup and he finished whatever he was doing. "Listen, I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but I feel like I should." He started. "Then don't tell me." I said, shaking my head.  "I want to tell you so no one gets hurt." He said. "Well I don't know what it is and nobody's getting hurt." I said, starting to clear up the counter. "Someone is." He said. I looked at him in the mirror. "Who?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He sighed. "Harry. Me. You." He said. I waited for him to continue, curious as to why they were hurting. "Harry has feelings for you." He said quickly. I felt my heart flutter slightly. Not many people have ever had feelings for me, so the feeling was still new to me. "Harry likes me?" I asked him. He slowly nodded. I smirked. "Is someone jealous?" I asked. He just stared at me. "It's okay Simon. Nothing's going to happen between me and Harry." I said, giving him a small smile. He nodded slowly, but he probably wasn't convinced. I wasn't too convinced myself.

     I glanced slowly over at Cal and my mother. Both of them had red eyes and glistening cheeks. I felt sick. Maybe it was just regular morning sickness, maybe I really did feel that guilty. I was always told that everything was always my fault, and I can't help but feel like this is too. It's not my fault that my father died, it's my fault that I didn't even try to make amends and apologize. Maybe I had nothing to apologize for, but then again maybe I did. Maybe I should've apologized for always blaming them. I mean, it wasn't their fault that they hated me. It was mine for not being good enough. "You alright?" Josh whispered in my ear. He was the only one sitting beside me, and everyone else beside him. I slowly moved my eyes away from my brother and nodded. Although I wasn't completely sure if I was actually alright. He patted my leg, which I couldn't feel, only see. This damn prosthetic still gets to me sometimes. He removed his hand from my knee and put it back folded into his lap. I sighed to myself. I'm so ready to go home.

*Simon's POV*

     As soon as we got inside of the house, Mackenzie went up the stairs, completely silent and her eyes glued to the ground. I know she didn't lover her biological parents, but this death still got to her. I could tell. It was probably because she never got to give a proper apology to her dad. Which I would completely understand if that would make her upset. I sighed and smiley followed behind her, being sure to be greeted my Zeus at the top of the stairs, jumping up at me. I smiled at him and patted his head. He walked away quickly to Mackenzie's room, her bedroom door open. I poked my head in her door to see her room completely empty and her window open. She was probably on the roof again. That probably isn't the safest place for a pregnant woman. She hadn't been to the roof in a while. It probably all got a bit too much for her. She's seventeen, pregnant, Internet famous, her dad just died, broken hearted. She needs all of the help she can get. I looked around the hall and saw no one and doors all closed. I walked into her room and climbed out of the window onto the roof. I saw her laying down, watching the stars. She knew I was here, but she obviously didn't care. "Hey." I said quietly, sitting down beside her. She didn't move and remained silent. "You alright?" I asked her, looking back at her blank face. She slowly nodded. "Then why're up here?" I asked. She sighed quietly. "Beautiful night." She shrugged. I laid down beside her, keeping my eyes on the sky. "Are you excited?" She spoke up after a long silence. "About what?" I asked, confused. "Having a baby." She said, her voice much quieter now. "Yeah. I guess." I said. I actually was excited. And scared. And worried. It could go really well, or really horrible. "We still need things. A nursery, crib, baby shit like that." She said, her voice still quiet. I rolled over so I was facing her, and her eyes were glued to the sky. "Are you excited?" I asked her. I saw her chest stop for a moment, and theme she let out a sigh. "More scared than anything." She finally said. I reached out to her, placing a hand on her stomach. Sometimes, you could feel the baby move, but it was rare. Now, it was more still than I've ever felt. I felt her heartbeat quicken, something that happened when I touched her. I don't know why. Maybe she was scared of me. Maybe her heartbeat accelerated because she was still so angry at me. I don't know. I might not ever know, either.

A/N
Thank you all so much for the support! I was told not to apologize, so I won't. I wrote this today because I thought you guys deserved something. I'm not sure if the update will return to daily just yet, but I promise it will be soon. Thanks again for everything!!! I hope you all have/had an amazing day!!

See ya! x