Wanted and Loved [ COMPLETED ]

Stressed out

*annie pov*
"Mom I can't take this! I feel like if I cry then I'm letting everyone down I don't know how to handle this. I want to go to go home but then I don't, I feel happier here, people care about me here. I don't know mom. I can't anymore. I'm not getting this Australian history or math." I cried. "Annie, it's okay to cry. Everyone does it, I know you don't get all this work because honestly I don't either.  But we have to be here. Only for a couple months, then we can go back to Idaho." Mom smiled. "Ugh, idaho. Sad memories. But whatever." I smiled. "I have lots and lots of homework due. I love you." I said. Mom left and I stared on my homework.
First Math: 1 hour of math done.
Next history: 2 hours
2 things done now 4 more to go.
I got out my science paper(s) when dinner was ready. "Annie its dinner time." Emmi said. "K I'll be down in a second." I said.
* 5 minutes later
"Annie? You coming?" Avia said opening my door. "YEs! I am just hold on!" I said more aggressive. I was on my 2 science homework.
* 10 minutes later*
"Annie! Dad says you need to come down now!" Avia yelled. "AVIA! STOP DISTRACTING ME! I HAVE TO GET ALL THIS DAMN HOMEWORK DONE AND I HAVE LIKE 5 MORE SHEETS DUE AND I PROJECT! I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS! TELL MOM AND DAD DINNER CAN WAIT!" I said crying. "Sheesh. Okay." Avia said in a bitchy tone of voice.
* Avia pov*

I came down stairs "where is that child?" Dad said. "If I remember correctly she said and I quote 'TELL MOM AND DAD DINNER CAN WAIT I HAVE LIKE 5 PAGES OF HOMEWORK DUE AND A PROJECT!' And yeah." I said but yelled the tell mom and dad stuff. "I'll save her a plate." dad said. They put mashed potatoes on her plate some steam and green beans and a biscuit.
"What wrong with Annie?" Emmi asked. "She is very stressed out right now. The school is threatening to pull her out of soccer." Dad said. "Oh man."
* Annie pov*
I was now on English. I was full on crying and trying to do my work. I was a total mess my eyes were swollen and I was having panic attacks and my breathing became more rapid and heavy. "UGH FUCK THIS MATE!" I yelled. I got up and exited my room slamming my door. I grabbed my phone and saw my family eating dinner. I sat down. "Nice for you to join us." Mom said. "I just came down here to pray." I said wiping my eyes. "That's okay. Go ahead." Dad said. We all closed our eyes and put our head down. "God, please help me. I need you with me right now more then ever. I can't get all this work down by myself. I need you. Please please give me courage. Amen." "Amen."
I ate like 3 bites then pushed the plate in. "I need to go stat again. I still have my project due." I said getting up. "Annie, you can take a break!" Dad said. "Dad! NO I cannot! It's 8:30 and I a still have a project due okay? So I need everyone to stay away from me. I need to get this done, I need to stay on the soccer team. If I don't get all this shit turned in by 10 I can say good bye to soccer for the rest of the time we are here. SO LEAVE ME ALONE." I said raising my voice. I ran upstairs and started doing research.
* an hour later
I looked at the clock '9:40' I panicked. I still wasn't done with one science paper. My teachers gave me until 10 to turn this in. Everything must be turned in by 10. "Annie, I need help!" Emmi said. "What?!" I said agitated. "I think I'm about to get my period." She said grabbing her stomach. "EMMI! I HAVE 5 FUCKING MINUTES TO TURN THIS IN! GO ASK MOM OR DAD! YOU HAVE PARENTS FOR A REASON!" I yelled. I saw her start crying. She turned around and start crying. "No! Wait Emmi!" I yelled. "I need to turn this in." I thought. I turned on my computer and when it finally turned on it was to late. "10:14" I went on my teachers website. "No no no!" I yelled. Her inbox was gone. I stood up and started crying. I turned around and landed face first on my bed. I started sobbing. "My life is over." I sobbed. I sat up holding my chest. I ran into my bathroom. "Hello friends." I thought. I grabbed my shaving razor. I ran downstairs past mom showing emmi how to use a pad. "Annie?" Mom said. I went into the kitchen frantically looking for scissors. "Finally!" I yelled. I ran upstairs and went into my bathroom and cut the blades out of the shaver. I washed the part I was going to cut. Then I washed the razor. I slid against the wall.
Clean for almost 9 months, just going to waste it?
Well I have nothing to live for.
I drew the razor slowly against my skin. Watching the Crimson blood fall on my jeans. I cried, but smiled.
* next day.
I woke up and got dressed (outfit on top) I got all my work. And put it in backpack. Then I got on the bus to school. It was a slow bus ride.
*during class*
My teacher was in the middle of a boring lesson. When on the intercom "Mrs. Hateford please send Annie Butler to the principles right now." Then my teacher pointed. I grabbed all my stuff. "Oooh!" My class mates said. "Shut up dick heads." I smirked. Then my teacher wrote that down and gave me a cussed slip. "Fuck you." Then she wrote me another one. I stood in the front of the class. I could see people laughing. I set my stuff down. "Teacher. can I say sum?" I smirked. "I mean you already say what you want." she said in a bitchy tone of voice.
"Want to know what you and then book have common?" "What?"
"Your both heavy and boring." I laughed. "Annie! That's enough!"
"Suck a dick, I mean like you already do." I laughed. My teacher was fed up with me. She handed me a curse slip and and 2 detention slips. I ripped them up and threw them on the floor. Then left.
***
"You wanted to see me mate?" I said to the principle.
"You are suspended from the soccer team for the rest of the year. Then next year you shall try out again." The principal said firmly. "Oh and I'm getting a email from you first period teacher you didn't do your work and you called people 'Dicks' told the teacher she was heavy and Boring and told her to suck a dick. Annie butler I have had enough of this behavior. Your suspended for two weeks. Then when you come back you have in school suspension for a week. I'm calling your parents." He said. "Whatever, not like suspending me from school will teach me anything." I then laughed.
***
"Annie Elizabeth butler! Suck a dick?!" Dad yelled. "Well they suspended me from the one this I only cared about." I yelled. "Annie! That gives you no reason to so those things! Give me your phone and your grounded, you can't see Lindsay or Jake for a month!" Dad yelled slamming his foot on the ground. "Great more time for me to sleep." I smiled. I left my phone on the couch and went upstairs. "Where is my TV? MY COMPUTER! IPAD?!" I yelled from the balcony. "You won't see those for a month. Ever heard the saying 'do the crime, do the time' yeah. Have fun." Mom smirked. School had just gotten out so I had to meet up with Jake.
I went into Avia room. Dad and her left for set so I took her computer and texted Jake. "Babe, I got suspended and grounded for a month. I'm going to sneak out and get food wanna meet up?"
"Sure baby! You just wanna come to my house?"
"No, you should come to my house."
"Will do."
I snuck Avias computer back to her room. Then I went to sleep.
*
"Babe." I heard. "Oh Jake!" I smiled. I opened the window and let him in. I kissed him then we sat down. "What happened?" He asked. Then I explained everything.
"It's so hard. Emmi misses Avia so much. Avia is being a brat. It's so hard being there for Emmi when I have my own worries. I feel like my depression is coming back. I feel like there is a giant crushing weight on me 24/7 mom and dad are trying to push m in the direction like Gavin. Become a successful lawyer and marry a bitch women who tells me to kill myself. It's my last 2 months and I-I can't do it. I hate it." I cried. "Shh baby. I know things are going to get tough and in going to be there. Your parents are trying to do what they think is best for you. I don't know what to tell you about Avia because I barely know her. But for Emmi you just really have to be there for her. She is a girl and she is changing, she need you more than anything. Talk to someone about your depression." Jake said holding me. "I can't talk to anyone, they will all think I'm crazy or something. I'm start-starting to cut again." I said rolling up my sleeve. "Annie! You need to say before this gets out of hand!"
"I will, promise." Then Jake went out my window.
I went into avias room and logged on to my account. I got a text message
"Hey mate its Abbie I'm having a party tonight, come it starts at 8:30."
"Okay I'm coming might be late tho."
I logged out and went into my room planning my outfit.