Shattered

Chapter Thirty-Three: Hell

       I felt the blood falling down my arms from my bleeding wrists. I could barely see out of my left eye from it being so swollen. The door opened and Dixon walked down. "You give in yet?" "Fuck off." He put the tip of his knife to my stomach and raised his eyebrows. "Wanna rethink that answer?" I felt the blood dripping down my stomach and yelled for him to stop. I looked up at him with tears falling down my face. "It's Merle Dixon's knife." "You kill him?" I shook my head and choked back a sob. "He was killed." "Biters killed Merle Dixon? Don't believe it." "We were being attacked by a man known as the Governor. Merle went on a mission to kill him but he died in the process. He was left to become a walker. We found him and put him down. He died a hero."

        "Who found him?" I didn't answer and he traced his knife down my stomach again. "His brother. His brother put him down." "What else?" I shook my head trying to stop the tears from falling in front of him. "You're a piece of shit. Do you even care what you did to them? Do you not get what that does to someone?!" "I know exactly what I did. I made them men." I laughed pissed off. "You didn't make anything. They grew into men. You didn't do anything but show them what a coward you were. Merle was a better father than you ever could of thought of being." He slammed his fist into my jaw knocking out one of my teeth. I spit it on the ground and looked back at him determined. "He's got a kid?" "Dacey best part is you'll never find her." "Im sure I can find your group." 

        "She's not with us. She's now traveling out of the country with her two guardians. So I wish you luck finding them. They're two tough men that will gun you down if you try to come near her." "Doubt that." His dark eyes met mine making me uncomfortable even more. They were cold and full of anger and pleasure from inflicting the pain I'm in. Merle and Daryl are so different from him. "For someone that doesn't break you shattered." "I don't think I did. I can still kick your ass." "I'm starting to like you honey. You're one tough bitch. Four days of this and you're still alive." I rolled my eyes if only he knew. He unchained me and I could barely catch myself from falling to the floor. He grabbed my wrists and held them to the floor. I started screaming and fighting against him.

        I laid on the concrete bleeding and could only hear the laughing upstairs. I placed my hands on my stomach but didn't feel any movement at all. I just laid there holding my stomach praying the baby was ok. I looked over at Mary who was chained to the wall as a walker. I was waiting for her to rip off her hands and come at me but she hasn't managed it yet. I closed my eyes trying to ignore all the pain going through my body. I thought back to Daryl and couldn't help but wonder if he missed me as much as I missed him. I let out a small scream from the pain. I heard shooting coming from upstairs making the walker get riled up. The door opened and he ran down and put a gun to my temple. I struggled against his grip around my neck and felt another contraction. Now was not the time for this. Daryl came down the stairs with his crossbow pointed. He tensed up when he saw me. "Sure is a nice one Daryl. Glad I found her." "Let her go." "Or what?" I watched Daryl look at the ground questioning himself but decided to hold his ground. "You don't want to get her killed son. Look at her. Look at her scared face. You weren't there for her." "I said let her go! I don't want to kill you." "You don't have the balls." I looked at Daryl and closed my eyes. When I opened them he was a few steps closer trying to hold his ground against the man who put him through hell his whole life. I knew it was tough for him. I don't know if I could ever pull the trigger on my father no matter what he did to me. The gunshot was all I heard. I slowly opened my eyes to see him laying dead next to me. Maggie stood at the stairs shaking. Daryl picked me up and carried me up the stairs. Everyone laid dead throughout the house. When we got outside Daryl laid my on a truck seat and hotwired it. "Take the motorcycle Maggie." He tossed her the keys and got in the driver's side. He handed me his shirt that I happily wrapped around me. I grabbed onto the seat feeling another contraction. "Daryl.. I'm so sorry." "No I am. Should've came after you sooner. Tell me when you need to stop." I nodded and took his hand. "I love you.."

       I finally knew it was time. I told Daryl but he shook his head. "We're minutes from the prison. Just hold on." "Its not really my choice." I squeezed his hand and watched the prison come into view. Twelve hours of this and I knew the baby wasn't going to make it being so small. Daryl was worried and I could tell. He carried me inside and yelled for Hershel. "You need to start pushing Grace." I nodded and took Daryl's hand. He nodded and stood by me.

         I was sweating and barley able to keep my eyes open as I tried to listen to a cry. Instead of the baby I cried and Daryl held me. I took him from Hershel to hold him until he died. Everyone left Daryl and I alone. Daryl put his head against mine and held it there. I put my hand on his face and looked down at the small child in my arms. I should've known it was going to be a boy. Dixon men are fighters and he sure was one hell of a fighter. It killed me holding my dying child in my arms unable to do anything. His small hand wrapped around Daryl's finger just before he died. Daryl took him from my arms and I started to sob uncontrollably. I heard the shot and every part of me broke at once. My heart was shattered into a million pieces.

          Daryl walked back in and laid next to me. I wiped a few tears from his face and buried my head into his chest. I kept apologizing between sobs feeling like it was all my fault our son was dead. I couldn't even imagine what Daryl was going through. His arms tightened around me as though he knew what I was thinking. I looked up at him and my heart sank when I saw tears silently falling down his face. "It's going to be ok Daryl." "Wish I could believe that." I didn't know what to do in this position. He isn't the one to be upset so I'm a little lost. He pulled me closer and kissed my head.

        I woke up with Daryl's arms still wrapped around me. I tried moving but the pain finally hit me. "You ok?" "I'll be fine." "Quit lyin'." I nodded and finally got on my back. Daryl got up and left leaving me to finally let everything flow out completely.  I put a pillow over my face and started crying over everything that's happened these past couple days. My eye was still slightly swollen, my lip was busted open again and my shirt was bloody. Nothing was ever going to be normal again. Hershel came in and put a sheet up over the door. "We need to get you cleaned up before those wounds get infected." I nodded and sat up off the bed. Maggie came in and leaned against the wall. "How are you?" "In pain." "That's expected."

         "How's Daryl?" "He's off on a killing spree so.." I nodded slightly amused at the thought. At least he's getting it all out. I winced when the water hit my chest. I looked down and saw multiple cuts. I closed my eyes trying to act like they weren't there but with every stinging touch it was hard to do so. I got changed and sat on the bed. "Its ok to be upset Grace." "Not for me. Come on in Carl." "Sorry.. I-" He cut himself off and I just smiled. "Daryl dug the grave for your son." Maggie helped me up and I slowly made my way outside ignoring the pain. I found Daryl standing near the other graves staring at the ground. I put my hand on his shoulder and looked down. "It never would've happened if I would've went after you." "It's not your fault Daryl and I need you to quit blaming yourself." Daryl stepped away from me and carefully laid him into the grave. "I like the name Bo." I smiled and nodded. "Bo Dixon is great Daryl." I grabbed the other shovel and helped him bury our son. The way we looked at each other told us that we were going to have to be strong through this. I knew I was going to break at times and I knew Daryl would too in his own way but we had to try our best. He put the cross into the dirt and we walked up to the prison together.  We got inside and everyone stared at me. Daryl stepped in front of me protectively. It was odd of him to do it. I stepped out from behind him and looked at everyone. That's when I heard Judith cry. My eyes watered but I kept from crying. I sat down on the stairs and looked down at my bruised wrists. I pulled down my jacket sleeves and kept looking at the ground.

       I walked through the house with my hands in my pockets. I went in my room to find Mary already there. "He called me and told me." She stood up and put her arms around me as I started to cry. "It's not fair, Mary. I just want to be a mother.." I choked out a sob and ended up crying on my bed for over an hour. She never left my side once as I dealt with my miscarriage. I never thought I would lose my child. It felt like nothing was going to go my way for once. Mary kept telling me one day I'll be a great mother and that I'd get my chance.

     Too bad that wouldn't happen. I was stuck burying another child. When I looked up they were all whispering about something. A hand was placed on my back and I flinched away. When I saw it was Daryl I felt terrible. I limped back to my cell and laid down on the bed feeling myself go numb.