Restoring the faith

Distance

I stepped out my door wearing shades to cover the fact I had probably cried half the night and hadn't slept the rest from watching every emotional film I could find to get my hands on.

So the notebook, titanic, Marley & me, my sisters keeper. Anything that gave me a reason to sob my heart out and not have to deal with my own emotions.

So I had blood shot puffy eyes and a little red nose from the blowing in tissues. I also had little sore patches on my cheeks from wiping them so hard.

Today we were back on the road and all this.. This nonsense of me & Zak ever becoming a thing had to stop. Right now I needed to focus on my job which then led him to do his job well, without any added stresses.

As I locked my house I turned and nearly screamed as Aaron had engulfed me into a hug.

"How are you feeling?" He asked rubbing my back.

"Pretty shitty. Kate told you then?" I asked.

"Yeah, as well as Zak. Plus you know how observant I am." He answered.

That was true, Aaron could smell a rat a mile off, he also knew when someone was upset, even if they didn't know it yet themselves, it was weird how he knew by body language but as soon as someone caved he was there ready to hug them.. Much like he is me now.

"Hey guess who's driving us?!" He grinned as I let him go.

The horn began beeping making me look over his shoulder.

"Bacon? Bacon is our new driver?!" I asked.

"Pretty awesome right?" Aaron grinned.

"Hell yeah, I'm feeling better already with you two in this RV, bacon is hilarious." I answered and waved over to him.

"Let's go kiddo!" He shouted from the RV.

"ROADTRIP!" Aaron cheered taking my bag and running to the RV.

I want after him smiling at how excited he was to have one of his closest friends with us.

"Sup bacon?!" I asked getting in.

"Hey Brit ready to hit the road?"

"Sure thing! Ready when you are!" I smiled looking around.

"Uh we gotta get Zak.. We thought getting you first might be easier.. For you?" Aaron spoke.

"Y-yeah, I uh.. Where's your bunk?" I asked.

"Up top, if you wanna sleep on it then it's fine, I'll crash in the co pilot seat with ma boy bacon here." He replied.

"I might if I end up feeling a little queasy." I answered sitting down on the small couch.

"My driving isn't that bad." Bacon laughed.

"Oh she gets travel sick sometimes, just no sickness right B?"

"Yeah, I'll be on my best behaviour and sleep it off."

We set off and as we pulled up at Zak's suddenly my phone became more interesting..

It didn't I was avoiding looking at him. I couldn't trust myself not to get a little upset and want a cuddle. I didn't even know if we were friends anymore..

Zak got on and walked past me as if I was invisible.

Not even friends.

I can't say it didn't hurt, because it hurt more than ever. I was so consumed in my feelings that I had lost him and my best friend in one fatal blow.

We were going to San Francisco, a 9+
hour drive from Vegas in a car.. Let alone an RV with three men who would need feeding at regular intervals to stop them eating one another's legs or arms.

I looked at Zak who was in his phone..

Maybe I should text him..

And say what?

Hi?

Just leave him Brittany.

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An hour into the drive I had my earphones in but one song hit a nerve and the tears started up. I got up and moved to the back of the RV laying on the double bed at the back.

Avril Lavigne - When your gone.

That's all it took! It was such an old school song but everything was hitting me.

I could smell him in the RV, his cologne, how is it that he is everywhere?! I lifted my head up seeing his hoody on the bed. I pulled it close and smelt it, definitely Zak's.

Screw it.. I pulled it to me and put it over me, I hid my face with the hood and removed my sunglasses.

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Zak POV

I saw the red halo of hair as soon as I got on the RV. I naturally looked for her where ever I went. She was my go to person, was..

I noticed her shades knowing she only uses them when she's tired I left her alone. I threw my hoody on the bed and sat at the table half way up the RV.

I put my head into my phone, I had to.. I wanted to go sit with her, play with her hair, mess around and watch stupid movies with her. Like we used to.

I did trust her, it came to me last night when I looked at paper work at mine. I trusted Brittany when we sorted all of it. She organised my office at work and home. If I needed something and couldn't find it all I had to do was ring Brit, she would tell me instantly where it was and sure enough it was there.

I had noticed she wiped her eyes a few times, she was crying.. What for?!

Before I had a chance to speak Brittany walked past me and down to the double bed at the back of the RV out of view from us. I looked over my shoulder to find her with my hoody.

She obviously needed time alone, not that I wanted to give it to her. I wanted to crawl up beside her and lay down with her.

If it was monthly pains then rub her back like I used to. We were so close as friends that we may as well have been in a relationship. Christ I knew what to do when she was due on or on!

Icecream, chocolate, sympathy,hot water bottle and cuddles. Not always in that order. Sometimes comfort food with mushy films that bored me to death but she wanted to watch them whilst I rubbed circles on her back and sometimes her belly when we spooned at night.

It didn't gross me out.. It was natural. Men can be pricks when women are on their monthly cycle. For me? It was just nature running its course.

I'll never forget when I woke up and she was trying to get me out of bed at 4 or 5 am when I was reluctant she started crying begging for me to get up.

She had come on over night bless her and was worried I would go mad at her.. I ran her a bath, pushed her into the bathroom gently, stripped the bed and remade it. Got the hot water bottle on stand by and waited for her to come back to bed. That's when operative monthly came in.

I'd lose man points if anyone found out but I wasn't ashamed if they were too. It takes a man to look after a woman when she's feels at her lowest. Aaron was a better man than me by far. He would go and buy his wife whatever she needed at the time. So he was well introduced to tampons. After we watched a comedy film he thought the medical profession should use tampons for nose bleeds..

I didn't say he was 100% normal but we all loved him. No matter how weird he got at times.