Restoring the faith

Bag of a guilt or innocence?

England.

That was it. We were going to England for his birthday... I wanted to go simply because I had never been before and I knew he loved going there on previous investigations.. But because it was so far he rarely got the opportunity to go.. So.......

England!

I had booked everything, from hotel to hire car I had gone over the top with it all and planned to make it special. The last week I had been arguing with him something chronic. I was baiting for a fight all the time and I figured maybe it was because we were both bored. As bad as that sounds. Because as soon as we had something to do I was fine and we were happy as ever.

We were due to fly out in 2 days and I planned to tell him in the car.. On the way to the airport.

Risky some might say but I wanted it to be a surprise, if I told him it wouldn't be a surprise and he would be too excitable.

Today I was heading out with Kate to do some shopping. I had been buying items and stashing them away, like travel size items.

I was sat on the couch when Zak began giving me a shoulder massage. I crumbled under his hands moaning and rolling my head back to kiss him.

"You're really tense, you kept rolling around in bed last night as well.."

"Sorry if I kept you awake." I replied.

"I worry about you. That's all. Headache still there?" He asked.

I nodded "Slightly. Seems to be easing."

I had been having headaches for the past week and the only way they would disappear would be laying a damp face cloth over my face. It was heaven to feel and it relaxed me. I had booked myself into the opticians but they said nothing had changed and maybe it was a head cold.

My body was aching so I guess they could have been right.

"Sure you need to go with Kate today?" He asked.

"I won't be long. I promise..." I smiled.

As the doorbell rang I nipped to the toilet and did my business as Zak greeted her.

I went back to them as Zak was talking about my recent changes in moods and health.

"Maybe you're pregnant." Kate laughed.

I swatted her "don't be ridiculous. That's one thing we are definitely careful about." I laughed.

"Okay you two get on and go. Kate look after her." Zak spoke as we left.

"Sure thing!"

Once we got into the car I felt Kate staring at me.

"Yes?"

"You need to seriously knock some cold and flu capsules down your neck. You can't get sick!" She spoke.

"I know! It's typical! I go to all this trouble and now I feel like this. I'm so pissed off." I sulked.

"Maybe it's just stress of organising it all?" She suggested.

"Maybe, I hope you're right because I don't want to ruin his birthday by being in bed sick." I replied.

We headed into Vegas to shop more things when Kate looked over.

"When was your last period?"

"I don't know, I'm not regular am I? Maybe 4 -5 months ago? I don't know, it depends.. The one before that was a year.." I answered.

"Probably worth getting some tests right?" She asked.

I nodded and rolled my eyes at the money I was going to waste to by pee sticks to tell me how not pregnant I am but it's better to be on the safe side.

We traipsed around buying things and pee sticks when Zak rang letting me know he was going to Aaron's. With the house empty me and Kate headed back to do these pee pee sticks.

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"What if you are pregnant?" She asked.

Nerves were already making me feel sick. I didn't want to think about the possibility to be honest. Zak didn't want kids...

"Don't. I'll have to tell Zak and that could be it for us." I answered.

"Let's just get theses on the go." Kate answered waving it off and preparing the sticks.

I drank so much water I felt like violet from Willy Wonka, all bloated and rolling. Going to the toilet didn't seem the problem as I was constantly going for it.

"Water infection maybe?" I asked.

"Oh good one. Keep that in mine if they are negative." Kate replied handing me a pee stick.

I had bought ten sticks.. Yes ten because I wanted to be sure and 10 couldn't be wrong could they?

I had them all face down on the counter as we waited for the last ones time.

"BRITTANY?!" Zak called.

"Shit!" I scrabbled around the kitchen trying to hide all the evidence when I noticed Kate swipe everything in her bag at one.

"Nice one." I sighed.

"In here!" I called to Zak.

"Act normal." She whispered.

By the time Zak came in we were chatting away through a fake conversation.

"Hey." I smiled standing up and getting a kiss.

"Hey, oh Kate Aaron is waiting for you." He answered.

"Okay. Text you later Brit!" She sang taking her back of guilt with her.

It could be a bag of innocence yet.

We spent the evening cuddled on the couch, I had my phone on silent and in my pocket. Every time I checked I had no message making me want to text Kate and ask what the hell but she may be keeping it on the low because of Aaron.

I'd just have to wait..