Hate That I Love You

(04)

(Jesy)

Ashton is fucking jerk! Yeah his a jerk! A freaking fucking shitty jerk!

Okay... That was not nice to say but calling people 'slut' is not nice either...

I'm here at mine and the girls tree house behind Leigh-Anne's house. Mrs. Pinnock didn't see me come in her backyard since me and the girls have a secret way... Cause if she does she'll tell my mom and my mom would be angry knowing I come home late because of slacking...

I can't text her that I'm on detention since phones are not allowed to be use in detention and I'll fuck up very bad...

The girl cut every time she had the chance to.. Nobody wants her,that's what she think.

"How can God creat someone as ugly as me? I don't deserve...living here." She said then ran the razor thru her skin..

Okay.. Enough of wattpad stories. I don't like reading stories with self harm.. Don't judge!

I put my phone back in my bag and start doing some assignments.. I think by this time Mr. Brown already release them...

From: Lili

Jesy,where are you? You ran away and we don't know where you go..txt back immediately please..

I saw the text when I got my phone on my hand again...

To: Lili

I'm @ our tree house... Can you tell Ashton to go fuck himself for me please?

From: Lili

Sure do honey..

To: Lili

Aaww.. Thanks..

From: Lili

He keeps saying his sorry... What should I say? ?_?

To: Lili

Hmmm.. Just ignore him! I have no energy to fight him..😞

From: Lili

We're on our way there.. See ya!

I didn't reply after the last text and just continue my home works. Math is killing my brain...ahhh!

*****

"Aaww.. She's so cute sleeping!" A voice say.

"Shut up boy! We don't wanna wake her up... Remember,she's still mad at you!" I heard Jade said in a warning voice...

"That's why his here,Jade. To say sorry but he clearly can't since she's asleep! Let's go wake her.."

"Oh I said shut up! Especially you Michael!"

Michael? WHO IS MICHAEL AND WHAT IS HE DOING IN OUR TREE HOUSE...

No one else is allowed here...

I jump up from where I'm lying opening my eyes. When I opened my eyes.. My brown one met hazel eyes...

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

"ASHTON!? AND THE REST OF THE BOYS? WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?" I shouted standing up.

"Jesy,sshh... Leigh-Anne's mom might here us. You know she doesn't like boys in our tree house,you don't wanna anger her don't you?" Perrie shushed me.

"Yeah Jesy.. I don't wanna get killed by my mom!" Leigh-Anne plead.

"Okay.. But what are these boys doing here? You know I don't like them,especially the curly one. You hate them too,right?" I said crossing my arms. Avoiding Ashton's gaze...

"They're here cause Ashton wanna say sorry for what he said.. And yup,we totally hate them." Jade said but I sense something on the last part. Like she doesn't mean it?

"Well he does know a sorry can't fix everything.. What he said is what he said,nothing can change it." I said looking directly at him with the eye. Trying to look mad cause god his eyes are adorable! It's breath taking..beauti-- okay I should stop.

"I know it won't change anything Jesy but at least I try. I'm really sorry Jesy,I didn't mean calling you girls that. I know it's wrong.. I wasn't thinking straight back there." He said sound so sincere.

"Cause your not thinking at all!" I said harshly. "Your just a stupid boy who don't give a fuck about others feelings. All you care is yourself!" I add.

His apologetic face was covered with anger. "Look Jesy,I am saying sorry! I know i was wrong for calling you girls that! But your being stubborn and not accept my apology. Then also call me stupid! I also have feeling Jesy! I do care about others cause after my father left us,I promised myself to not let anyone feel left. I don't see anyone hurting. But when I saw your reaction to what I said back in the detention room,I hate to admit it but I know I just broke my promise so I went to say sorry..." He yell angrily at me. I was frozen from where I'm standing.

I felt embarrassed of what I said to him. I know what he called us is wrong but I also call him those hurtful words. And I didn't know his father left them. Fuck! I don't even know his personal life,who am I to judge?

"Ashton I'm sor--"

"No! Forget about its.. Cause I'm just a jerk who don't care about others feelings." He snapped at me. "Let's go boys!" He said gesturing his friends to leave with him and the 3 guys followed.

Once they were out of sight I sat on wooden floor crying. I didn't mean to say it.. His right... I'm just so stubborn! I should have just forgive him but no,pride gets in the way.

The girls ran to me. Leigh-Anne start rubbing my back while the comfort me.

"Sshh... It's okay. He'll forgive you." Perrie said.

"How can he forgive me when I don't even deserve it!?" I said covering my face with my hands. "What he said is true. He might hate me really bad right now."

"Don't say that Jesy. And you hate him too anyways." Jade said sitting in front of me.

Do I really hate him? Hmm.. When his around me I can feel my heart racing but when he leaves I can feel it breaking.

(Woah! Voodoo Doll reference..😜)

Can you guys keep a secret? No one else knows this. Not even the girls.. The truth is

I like Ashton Fletcher Irwin for a long time now. I've been secretly crushing on him since elem but as time flew by i realize it's more than just a crush...

I hide this from my friends since I know how they hate them and I don't want them to hate me too...

And that's why,I hate that I love him.

A/N:

Never good at ending a chapter.. I can say it right in my face!

But hopes you still like it.. Here's what you gotta do if you do 🌟 press the star below! And comment down your thoughts in the comment section 📩...

Bye and love ya all my lovelies!