She's GONE - A Fifty Shades Fanfiction

~Chapter 20 - Sarah~

When they released me from jail, I did not go to see Christian. I just didn't know what to feel about everything. I headed straight home. It had been awhile. As soon as I walked in, I kicked the door shut and took off my shoes off, leaving them by the door.

Looking straight ahead, the living room was shrouded in darkness, but my eyes adjusted to it. I could see the furniture from the moonlight trickling in from the outside. My stomach suddenly growled, though, after all, the horrible jail food, I wasn't really in the mood for food right now, but I paddled my way into the kitchen anyway. I reached over to the right and flipped the switch on, squinting as the bright light surrounded the room.

For a moment, I just stared at everything, and then I walked over to the fridge, opened it, and looked through all the contents. Some things wrapped in foil and I did not want to know what it was or how long it had been there. Same with the milk. It looked a little dark and chunky. Eww, no thanks. Nothing seemed appealing to me, so I shut the door, turning to the cabinets, and looked through each one to find something, but there was anything that interested me. With a sigh, I decided I wasn't hungry anyway, and all I wanted was to sleep the night away.

I made my way out of the kitchen, never bothering to shut the light off, and I headed down the hallway to my bedroom. I went to my bed and laid down. Think maybe when my head hit the pillow, I was out. It wasn't until later the next day I woke up when the phone started ringing. Yeah, I did not want to answer it. I rolled over, falling back to sleep. I didn't care what time it was.

The next time I woke up was when there was a knock at the door. I did not get up to answer it. I knew who that would be, and I was not sure I wanted to see him yet. I hadn't thought about anything though I kept dreaming about him and everything that happened before I met him.

Sitting up in bed, I thought about when we first met. It was a whirlwind right from the beginning. Love at first sight I believe. As we stood in the bookshop, we were so rooted in place, we couldn't move, nor did we want to. All we could do was looking into each other's eyes, no, into our souls. We had a little help in the form of an angel, his wife, Ana. She was with his right from the beginning, pushing us together. That was her unfinished business, finding a lover for Christian. And he was a good lover too, as I so recently found out. That was something I would never forget. I don't know if anyone could compare to him. He was such a romantic. I have only scratched the surface of how romantic he was, but I had a feeling, if I stayed with him, he would always romance me. And I don't think I'd get tired of him showing me or even telling me how much he loved me.

But his past litter collided with our present and maybe our future when his nemesis, I guess that was what you could call him, Jack Hyde. He was the one who had killed Ana. He did not want Christian to be happy or in love. He had to have it all for himself and would do anything to get it. Including kidnapping me and framing Christian for doing it. Luckily Elena was caught, and the charges were dropped for everyone, including Christian.

The damage was done.

Should I go back to Christian? I do love him, but will that be enough. Then there was the fact that I got dragged into his shit by Elena and then Hyde. Even Christian wasn't honest with me. I can't say that made things easier. It made it harder, but is it something that we can get over?

When I had my session with Dr. Flynn, I admitted more to myself than anything, I was intrigued with Christian's kind of sexual relationship. It meant a deeper level of commitment between the both of us. Does it still interest me, hell yeah? How could Christian and I go back to what we had before? Do we move on from it? Do we work through it? Star over? Go our separate ways?