The Brunette

Chapter 31

Chapter 31(Niall's pov): I kissed Bella.

I was fully conscious and I knew exactly what I was doing.

I kissed her.

I know what I did was beyond wrong but something that was so wrong couldn't possibly feel so right. The kiss was perfect. We were holding onto each other so tightly. It started slow and gentle then it got faster and more needy. Her hands going through my hair felt so good I almost collapsed. Her lips were soft and sweet.

She tasted like strawberries.

She didn't pull back, we were so into it. Then I figured out that this would ruin our relationship as friends. I pulled back, disgusted by myself. How could I disrespect her like that?

I couldn't say anything for a minute. Thinking about what I had just done. I probably just messed everything up.

My world was crashing.

I tried to say something, to apologize, but no words came out. I tried again and I managed to say, "Bell, Im so sorry." I look up at her. She was touching her lips and looking up at me, her face unreadable. I put my head in my hands again and groan, Im so stupid. "Im so sorry," I repeated, hating myself. "I never should've," she cut me off, touching my arm and whispering, "Shh, its alright." Soothingly.

She started to run her hands through my hair. The feeling I used to love, I now despised. How could she still try to comfort me when I just disrespected her like that?

She moved closer to me and hugged me from the side, wrapping her delicate arms around my chest. I think for a second. She wasn't the one who pulled away.

I was.

"Bell, do you like...?" I let the question hand in the air, unfinished. "No, we're just friends." She assures me, smiling.

Just friends.

A part of me, I don't know how big, died with those two words.

I nod numbly. "We can just forget that ever happened." She says in her absolutely brilliant accent. I look into her mystifying eyes for a second. "Yeah." I say quietly. I can't think any more. The room seems brighter than it did a minute ago. She kisses the top of my head and checks her iPad for the time and gets up. I stand up too, not knowing what else to do.

"Im going to take a shower." I hear her say. I nod, running my hand through my hair, not looking at her. She leaves and I start putting the ice cream away, taking a few bites on the way to the freezer.

I picked up her iPad and I was about to hook it up on her charger when I remember something. Bella was upset about something earlier. I totally forgot. I hadn't helped at all.

Or had I?

She wasn't crying anymore. She had her mind on something else, I don't know what, though. I can't do this any more. I can't be around her so much any more. When we get our furniture today she'll be at her place more. We're friends. Nothing more. The more Im around her, the more Im affected by her. She was all that I thought about now. I had to get away from her. After today I'll see her less.

She walks out of the bathroom and goes in her suitcase. She pulls out a few curlers. I want to enjoy today, my last day spending this much time alone with her. "Can I help you curl your hair?" I ask her, urging her silently to say yes. She looks up at me then quickly looks down, not even meeting my eyes. She nods, still in her suitcase, even though she already had her curlers out. She hands me one and we go into the bathroom. She starts teaching me how to make a different kind of curl. These are thinner and softer. More loose. Her hair is silky under my touch. We don't talk, laugh or make eye contact. I avoid touching her skin. I try concentrating on her hair and making every curl perfect, but every once and a while I find my eyes straying to her lips.