The Brunette

Chapter 43

(Bella's pov): I rush into the bathroom and lock the the door behind me. I crumple to the ground and cry onto my hands.

How could I let Zayn go?

Why did I leave him in the first place?

Why did I break up with him?

Why did I make Harry my boyfriend?

I love Zayn, does that mean Im cheating on Harry?

Am I a cheater?

Is any of this worth the heartbreak?

Does everyone hate me?

Should I hate me?

I stumble until I find a hand mirror, looking into the reflection it showed.

I see a small girl with wild brown hair.

I see a weak child with puffy red eyes and dripping mascara.

I see a monster that ruins everyone's life.

Especially the one's she loves.

I throw the mirror on the wall, relishing the sound of it breaking. I scramble forward blindly until I find a large piece of glass.

My reflection is still there.

I automatically cut into my cheek, a slightly crooked line going through my jaw follows the sharp side of the glass. I take the jagged edge and cut off the bandages Harry took so long to apply.

I don't deserve his love.

I don't deserve any love at all.

I cut into my exposed skin, making a crimson line across my wrist.

I focus on the burning pain on my skin instead of the burning pain in my head but soon they both meld together.

I faintly hear banging at the door and Im reminded of Zayn trying to see me at Starbucks, Liam holding him back. I hold onto that memory as I make another red line onto my skin, just above the other.

"Bella, let me in." I hear yelling but I don't know where its coming from. I cut again, ignoring everything but my actions.

Im a horrible person.

I deserve this.

No one should love me.

I ruin everything. Im stupid and ignorant.

Suddenly, a pair of arms wrap around me. "Hey, what are you doing?" A voice asks behind me. I don't answer. I hear muffled sniffling. "That looks fun, can I try?" The arms leave me and I see Niall sit next to me.

Niall.

I remember Niall. Niall protects and loves me. I love Niall back.

What is going to do?

Is he going to tell me to stop?

His cheeks are tear stained. I watch as he takes another piece of broken mirror and holds it to his wrist.

Why is he doing that?

Niall shouldn't hurt himself.

He's too nice to get hurt.

He hesitates before slashing a red line onto his wrist, wincing. "Niall, no." I say, trying to take the glass away from him. He avoids my hand. He cuts into his skin again and I cry out. "What's wrong princess? Im just doing the same thing you're doing." He smiles, though its obvious he's in pain.