Lightweight

Lightweight : Chapter Nine

                        The first four periods flew by that morning. I skimmed to the lunchroom as soon as the lunch bell rang.

"Hey guys," I smiled. I sat down next to Scott. Everyone didn't seem too happy though. Scott didn't even look at me. I wondered what I had done wrong. "What's wrong with everybody?" I said puzzled. Scott still didn't look at me. "Scott?" My worry had turned to terror.

Scott turned in his seat to face me. I knew by the look on his face this wasn't going to be very pleasing news.

He let out a deep breathe. He couldn't even look me in the eyes. "Sydney, my mom had gotten a really good job in California," He mumbled.

My eyes widened as a knot began to build up in my throat. "Don't tell me,"

"I’m moving.....To California," He put his head down to his tray.

"Scott you can't leave!” I yelled. I could feel the tears in my eyes. I tried to hold them back by blinking my eyes repeatedly. It's been four months since Scott and I've been dating, and those have been the best four months, of my life.

"I’m really sorry Sydney," He looked down again.

"When are you moving," I mumbled. My head began to hurt.

"Friday,"

"That’s two days from now!" I yelled. I was upset and dreary at the same time.

"I know," He replied. Scott still hadn't looked me in the eyes.

"So, you're telling me, w-we can't be together?" I couldn't hold it back. Tears strolled down my eyes. Scott had said nothing after that. I looked at him as my thoughts began to get mixed again. I couldn't capture my words. It’s like my body had shut down. I just sat there, blank. I didn't know what to say or do. The last few months have been amazing for Scott and I. Now he wants to get up and say he's leaving. That'll wreck me. Leave me in a million pieces, not like I wasn’t already in a million pieces.

"There are no relatives you could stay with!?”

"No, I tried that already," He looked at me as the bell rung. “You’ll be okay Sydney," He finally looked me in the eyes. He walked away as the second bell rung. I stood there watching him walk down the hall.

I didn't feel good throughout the whole day. I felt horrible. I couldn't believe Scott was leaving, for good. I always thought about what would happen if he did leave but I never thought the day would actually come.

When the last bell rang I rushed out of class and outside. I saw my dad in his car waiting for me at the curb. I walked over to the car and got in.

When we reached home I went straight into my room and drowned myself in tears. My mind was getting all fucked up again like how it used to. I got up off the bed and walked over to the window. I could feel the bags weighing down my eyes. I opened it to get a bit of fresh air but that didn’t help. I left my room and went up to the rooftop.

I walked over to the rail and leaned on it. Instead of thinking to jump I just stood there taking in the breeze. Then I went to go sit down on one of the chairs. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and called Scott, he picked up.

"Hey there beautiful," He said. I could hear the rummaging of boxes in the background. I felt like throwing up.

"Is this a bad time," I asked.

"Kind of, yeah, but it’s okay,"

“I'll call back then," I could feel myself getting angry. I just didn’t want him to move. This whole thing was just frustrating me.

"No, Sydney its-" By the time he could continue I hung up the phone. I felt like crap. I felt foolish. I don't know. I was just really confused. Maybe I was just overthinking this whole thing a little too much.

It had gotten darker out so I went back downstairs.

I sat on my bed and turned on the t.v. when my phone started to vibrate. I ignored the call. I didn’t pick up to avoid more pain. The more I talked to Scott about him going away the more it made me upset. Scott called a few more times and I still ignored. Then he texted me:

Sydney, pick up your phone. I know you're there. This isn't the right time to be upset with me.

 I looked at the text as a tear fell down my eyes. I quickly wiped it. I was done crying for tonight. It was time to man the hell up. And whether I like it or not, he was still going and nothing could change that.

After about an hour of watching t.v, I had gotten tired and turned it off. I turned around and put the covers over my body and head.  I closed my eyes but when I closed them, I couldn’t stop thinking about Scott. I tried so hard to get him out of my head, but I couldn’t get him out.  I tried counting sheep but that didn’t work either.

I got up out of my bed and went under the bed to get out the box my sleeping pills where in. Scott told me to put them away because he thought I would hurt myself with them. But at this moment in time I wanted to sleep, really bad and I couldn’t because he kept popping in my head.

I opened the box and got out the bottle of pills. I had drunk three, put them in the cabinet and went to my bed. Everything went blurry and I fell asleep.