thirty four » a l i v e

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"She is brave and strong and broken all at once. As she speaks it is as if her existence is no longer real to her in itself, more like a living epitaph to a life that was." — Unknown.

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Octavia

       "There's nothing to talk about, let go of me." Demi says, yanking her hand away from me.

       "You're schizophrenic." I say, looking at her. "Not only that, but you also suffer from other mental illnesses. Do you even know that you're sick?"

       "I'm not talking about this." Demi says, before turning around and leaving the room. I grunt before lifting myself off of my chair and following after her, flickering the lights off behind me. I press my hand against my side as I limp after her, watching as she goes to the living room.

       "I'm gonna get high, do you want to get high with me?" Demi asks me, grabbing a bong from a counter. She looks over at me.

       "What? No, I'm good." I say, shaking my head as I sit down on the couch and she shrugs, muttering something under her breath and coming over to me. She sits on the chair across from me and sets the bong down on the coffee table between us. She grabs a lighter from her pocket and flicks it on. She leans it toward the bong before sucking on it.

       She leans back and blows out smoke, chuckling softly while looking up at the smoke. "I would open a window but I don't want to." She says, looking over at me.

       "How generous of you." I say sarcastically, narrowing my eyes at her.

       "I try my best." Demi says, shrugging as she reaches out to the bong again.

       "Did you hurt Kalani?" I ask her, sitting up straighter. I brace myself for bad news.

       "Nah, she doesn't have to worry about me coming after her." Demi shakes her head, and, setting the bong down and blowing out smoke again, she waves me off.

       "How should I believe you?" I ask, not really believing her.

       "Don't believe me then, I don't care." Demi says. She grabs the remote control and turns on the TV. She flickers through TV channels in Spanish and settles on a show called Caso Cerrado.

       "What happened to you? And how is Kendall and Javier your half siblings? Do you not have the same Dad or something?" I ask because I have to know what her story is and why she is the way she is.

       Demi doesn't look at me, instead continuing to watch Caso Cerrado, but her face does hardens and her jaw clenches as I continue to pry for answers.

       "Okay, fine, with what I've read before you so rudely took the folder away from me, you suffer from multiple mental illnesses. Kendall also took you to get treatment but you refused, you even fought back. So I'm thinking that your non biological Father beat the absolute crap out of you for a reason I don't know yet, and I have—"

       She mutters quietly, almost a warning, "Octavia."

       "Don't interrupt me, I'm talking here. Anyway, there are no records whatsoever about your Mom, did she up and leave or something? That must've sucked, I can't bear the thought of one of my parents leaving. You've also have been sexually—"

       "OCTAVIA!" Demi yells, throwing the remote at me but I quickly duck. It hits the window and I heard it crack, she raises from her seat and looks at me with dark, angry eyes. She says each word slowly, her voice hard and sharp. "Stop. Asking. Questions."

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