A love so hard {finished}

Chapter 4

*Dereks loft*

It's so fucking stupid. All of it, every single thing about him. The stupid way he talks, laughs and twitches when he's nervous, Derek notices all of it. The stupid fact that he doesn't know what's best for him and instead always runs in to danger. And it's always Derek getting him out of it.
It simply has to end, Derek can't have a human in his pack, much less a human with close to zero above average abilities.
He must leave.
He'll just get hurt.
He'll be much happier without all the pack problems.
But it's like his brains shuts down when he sees him. Derek's always been the assertive Alpha, always knowing he's in control but he knows damn well he'd do anything Stiles would ask him to do. Not that he'd admit it of course.
But he knew it can't continue like this, it feels like manipulation.

He was rudely interrupted in his cloud of thoughts when the door was pounded on profusely, and he half expected Stiles to stand there in the pouring rain with his shirt sticking to his body. The thought was almost pornographic and Derek had to shake it out of his head quickly.
It was at late at night and raining so he didn't expect anyone to come over, not that he ever did.
He hesitated but opened the door with a hesitant hand.
"Excuse m-?" Was all he managed to spit out before people began pouring in one after one, all laughing and talking about nonsense that probably mattered to them. Scott followed by Allison then Jackson, Lydia, Isaac, Kira, Erica and- Boyd? He was okay? And even more confusing, getting along with Erica?
"Are you okay?" He asked dumbfounded turning to stare after them.
"Yeah LA was great, didn't expect you to ask" Boyd said patting him on the shoulder and- LA? Was he on a god damn vacation all along? Erica's smirk answered all his questions.
"I'm okay too, thanks for asking" Stiles said standing on the porch with his arms crossed looking awfully relaxed considering g the circumstances.
When not receiving any answer he shrugged and brushed past Derek, still grinning to himself.
Derek had to collect himself.
"What are you guys doing here?" He asked sternly.
"We were gonna have movie night at my place, but there simply wasn't enough space. At least not for Erica and Boyd" Scott said throwing a glance at the couple standing by themselves.
"Oh shut up, McCall" Boyd laughed but his attention was quickly back on Erica.
"You love me"

***
Lydia must have one hell of an influence as they all wound up on the floor and couch watching the notebook, but Kira didn't complain as she quietly sobbed through the entire movie.
Scott and Allison where bundled up in a way that made them look like a knot on the mattress in-front of the couch, Isaac sitting beside them. Lydia and Kira were quietly discussing Ryan Gosling with Jackson subtly rolling his eyes from his place beside them every now and then and Erica and Boyd had managed to fit themselves on the couch, somehow laying down.
Stiles and Derek were sitting in big chairs by themselves on either side of the couch, but Stiles opting for a slough over the armrest and only moderately paying attention to the movie.
Most of the time he was eating something, decorating his fingers with funions or stuffing his mouth with handfuls of popcorn.
Man, he sure could fit a lot in- stop. Stop it.
He also as casually as he could threw eyes on the others, almost looking at them longingly as if he was Ted what they had. Derek noticed.
Similarly to Stiles Derek was barely watching the movie but instead was eyeing Stiles every one in a while, and he either didn't notice of ignored it. Sometimes, however, their eyes met and Derek always looked away immediately opting for staring at the tv but he still felt Stiles's eyes on him for a while.
Jesus, was he sweating?
"You know, I'd give up my left lung for a night with him" Lydia said a little to loudly and Jackson visibly tensed up, and Lydia noticed and leaned against him.
After a while the movie ended and people slowly left. Predictably Allison and Scott left first flowed my Jackson and Lydia with Kira tiptoeing behind them.
Boyd stayed for a little while speaking to Derek and apologizing for the mixup in communication and later being tugged away by an impatient Erica.
By the end it was Derek putting on the kettle of water for him and Isaac.
"I'm not much of a tea person" was all he got from Stiles couples with a yawn and stretch of the arms and oh god- his shirt rose in that stupid way of showing just enough of his happy-trail to be endearing.
Derek found himself having to concentrate real hard on getting the water in the kettle without it overflowing, and also found it to be harder than normal. Stiles had moved over to the couch now huddled up in a blanket and messing with Isaacs hair.
You know, that had always been the sweet thing about them. They could bicker and tease each other or simply not talk for days but every pack night they wound up staying with each other. The others thought they were hooking up for a good while, but both of them just shrugged it. It was clear they could lean on each other to talk about home life and just the little meaningless things. Always close to each other and talking in hushed voices.
Something in Derek longed for that. He wanted intimacy with Stiles. He wanted him to be able to talk to him (also push him in to the mattress and fuck him senseless, but that's besides the point) and the worst part is Derek knew it's his own fault he doesn't talk to him other than witty comments and brief information dumps.
Without a word he handed Isaac the other cup of tea and settled on the opposite side of the couch from where Stiles was sitting.
"You really didn't have to" Isaac said quietly and took a sip.
"I want to" he found that surprisingly easy to say. It wasn't forced kindness, but instead- honest. And it felt nice.
"I don't know, he hasn't mentioned her in a while. He usually at least goes to her gravestone or says a short prayer before dinner but- he's just quiet. It's like he's forgotten her"
Derek knew he was taking about his father and mother, and even though it was directed at Isaac he didn't whisper or make sure Derek didn't hear. He was in some way- open.
"Maybe it just hurts right now" Isaac whispered and rubbed his thumb soothingly over Stiles hand.
"Maybe"

20 minutes passed before Isaac took his car home.
"I'm sure it'll work out. You always fix things, Stiles."
"See you tomorrow?" He said and got a smiling nod as a response and gone Isaac was.
"I'm surprised you didn't murder anyone" Stiles chuckled and looked back at Derek, shaking his head.
"Ouch my poor heart, how will I ever recover from such a burn?" He said dryly.
"Is that- is that sarcasm I detect? Did Derek sourwolf Hale just utter words in the fashion of a joke?"
"Christ, forget I ever said anything" Derek said and turned to the kitchen to clean up the mess that the others (Scott) created.
"Don't get embarrassed, I'm just messing with you" Stiles said, following closely behind and smiled brightly. Derek almost stopped looking at what he was trying to do. Almost.
"Are you not leaving?" He instead spat out, and it came out way too harsh.
Stiles just looked dumbfounded with his mouth hanging slightly, Derek still not looking up.
"I- I guess I'll go. Goodbye."
He turned his heel looking confused and started walking away when Derek caught his wrist and easily pulled him back, their eyes met for the first time. He was so close Derek could feel his shaking breath on his face.
"Don't." He said quietly, letting go of his wrist.
"You confuse me" Stiles said after a beat of silence, searching Derek's face for a physical response.
"I don't think you're alone on that."
"... Can I-?" He trailed off and that was all Derek needed to grab him by the neck and reach down to connect their lips. At first Stiles stood frozen, not computing the situation but after a pair of breaths he opened his mouth in return and now wrapped one arm around the older mans neck, keeping the other one firmly on his chest.
It wasn't what Derek would think he'd do in a situation like this. It wasn't much of aggressiveness of violence. It was surprisingly sweet. He could tell Stiles was hurting, he was radiating loneliness but after a while it was like it faded away. They continued to cling to each other as Stiles was pressed up against he countertop. With Stiles hurt fading away, Derek noticed it slowly got more and more intense. More needy. More violent.
"We should really stop" Stiles said breathlessly in the short time they weren't pressed against each other completely.
"Right now."
"This is such a bad idea."
"Terrible" Derek countered, yet only gripped his wait a little tighter.

~

Sooo, this was initially around 500-600 words and I just wanted to tweak it a little buuut it kinda got out of hand. Hehehehe.

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