A love so hard {finished}

Chapter 11

*Dereks house {Dereks POV}*

Fuck me, I thought. Honestly, I don't know what to do. We're we ok now?
He might still be mad at me, or just sad.
I've really screwed up, haven't I? I shouldn't have said those things.
I've been trying to say it for days but it never came out right. Ever.
I really just wanted him safe, and so that he could have a better life. One without shit like this.
Then again, he would always be in danger around Scott and the others. I couldn't stop that so having me around wouldn't really change anything.
Damn, what have I done?
Why did I kiss him?! I could have simply talked, but just being so near him... I don't know.
I've controlled triggers before, why is this one so hard?!
Was it truly more?
Ugh, damn you Stiles. Annoying teen who's always right! "Lose control"
I really should do that when it comes to him, at least a little.
It can't be easy for a happy person like him to be with me.
I almost refused to say I love you, I'm not a talkative or open person.
I'm sorry Stiles.
You deserve better but clearly you get hurt if you're not with me.

"Hey Der, stop whining and let's eat!"
I heard Erica yell from the kitchen now that she was home.

I walked over to her and saw her searching the fridge like a mad wolf.

"Destroying the fridge won't fix food"

"Is there even anything to eat?" She asked and looked at an empty mustard container.

"Not really, I haven't bought any more food. You'll have to do it."

"Uuuugh, who has the time for that?"
She complained and I just raised an eyebrow. "Whatever, I'll go with Boyd and get some real food" She pushed me to the side and walked to the bed room where Boyd was watching tv.

Having them here was a pain in the ass.
But I knew that the didn't have anywhere else to be currently as Erica's foster family didn't care about her what so ever.
She didn't seem to care really, but I knew it tore her down.
Sure she's independent now, but she still had feelings.
For Boyd obviously.
Anyways, what's up with them? 
It was like living with them was a pain in the ass, the loud couple... Well at night.
I guess that's what is like being here when Stiles is here when I think about it.
Revenge? Nah.
I wanted them out of the house, but I didn't want them in trouble.
We all knew Erica had a habit of getting in trouble.

I walked into the bedroom where they were both watching tv and snugging under the sheets.
I leant against the door.

"What happened to getting groceries?"
I said, lifting an eyebrow and crossing my arms.

"Ugh, right. Boyd?"

"Sure, I'll come with you." He said with a tight smile.

They both got up and walked past me, Erica bumping into my shoulder.

"Shut up" I heard her say so quietly underneath her breath.

"I heard that!" I said and turned around.

"Oh I know! That was kind of the purpose." She said to annoy me.
Sure she's annoying when she does that.
But I didn't really do anything about it.

I threw an eye to the door as to tell them to leave.
She was going to leave but turned around with a grin plastered on her face.

"And hey, if your little punching-bag Stiles decides to come over, oh wait... He won't!"

I growled at her insensitive comment.
She probably heard us earlier that morning.

She hissed at me then flipper her hair, turning around.
Boyd, being quite shy and nice said quietly:

"You should really be nicer to him. He's your alpha!"

"That's the point, he can't hurt me."

I got so mad at her that I wanted to reach after her and break her arm.
I didn't but damn I really wanted to.

She slammed the door behind her and they took her car to the store.

Finally, I'm all alone.
I walked over the the living room and sat down in one of the chairs.
I had nothing to do, with was fine since it was getting dark.
Stiles was probably sleeping at this time.

Damn I missed having him here all the time. As much as I hated him calling he sourwolf and his sarcasm, he completed me.

I loved him, but I've decided to never say those three words.

Ever.

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Heyyyy! Sorry it it was kind of short and pointless, I just kind of wrote this on a short road trip!

Anyways! LY<3