Lady Madonna

I Don't Know Anymore

YEAR: 1969

"Paul, I don't wanna go to the studio,"
"Why not? We're filming a movie and I'd like show off my wife,"
"I'm not an object Paul,"
"I know love, I'm only teasing,"
"I'm gross anyway. Ye wouldn't want to show me off,"
"Yer not gross!" he said with an offended tone in his voice. "Yer beautiful,"
"Oh yeah, nearly nine months pregnant. Not at all disgusting,"
"Yer right. Yer not disgusting at all,"
"Can it," I kissed his cheek. "Girls!"
"Yeah?" Mary and Heather said.
"Yer fathers going to the studio. Do ye wanna go?"
"Yes!"
"Alright, get ready then,"
"Are ye sure ye don't wanna come?"
"Positive. I need to rest anyway and honestly, ye should too. After all, yer gonna be dad tomorrow," I teased.
"Why tomorrow?" he laughed.
"Maybe because we scheduled the c-section for tomorrow morning,"
"Oh yeah..."
"Please don't stay at the studio long,"
"I'll be back by dusk my love,"
"Don't be cheeky," he kissed me, "have fun,"
"I will."

***

"Rise and shine love,"
"What time is it?" I groaned.
"Nine. We gotta leave in an hour. Anyway, I made ye breakfast,"
"Thanks," I mumbled.
"Eat up love,"
"I will, don't ye worry,"
"Are ye nervous?" he sat down on the bed.
"No, not really..." I sat up and started eating.
"I am..."
"Why? Yer not the one being cut open,"
"I just don't want ye to get hurt...that's all,"
"I'll be fine. Get the girls ready,"
"Will do. Love ye,"
"I know."

***

The next couple hours were a blur. All I remember was being taken to the hospital and being knocked out.

"Maggie...squeeze my hand if you can hear me," Paul said.
"I can hear ye," I whispered, still dazed from my meds. "So?"
"So what?"
"What did we have asshole?"
"We had a boy Maggie," he cried.
"We did?" My eyes shot open as I sat up in bed. "Fuck," I groaned as I grabbed my stomach.
"Take it easy love,"
"I know...where's my nurse?"
"Next door,"
"Where are the girls?"
"Hallway. Want them to come in?"
"Sure," I shrugged.
"Girls!" he called.
"How are ye mum?" Mary cheered as she ran in.
"I'm fine I suppose. Where's Heather?"
"Right here," she trudged in while holding Stella.
"Did daddy tell ye what we had?"
"Mhmm,"
"Ye guys don't seem too excited," I raised a brow.
"Well, we didn't exactly want another sister,"
"What? No, no...we had a boy...didn't we Paul?"
"Well..."
"Paul...what did we have?"
"We had a boy..."
"Then why are they saying we had a girl?"
"Well-"
"James Paul McCartney! What did we have!"
"We had two..." he mumbled under his breath.
"We had what?"
"Two! We had two!" he finally said.
"What the fuck does that mean!"
"It means, ye had twins...a boy...and a girl..."
"No..." I cried.
"Girls, please get out,"
"No!" I dug my face into my hands.
"Now!" Their eyes widened as he yelled; I've never seen them leave a room so quickly.
"I fucking had twins! I didn't even want one! Fuck!" I threw the first thing I could find; it was a cup sitting on my bedside table.
"I'm not exactly thrilled either!" he exclaimed. "Yes, I wanted another kid, but I didn't fucking ask for two!"
"Well, what are we gonna do?" I sighed as I put my glasses on.
"I don't know..." Silence filled the room. "So...who else did ye fuck?"
"Excuse you! I did not fuck anybody except you!"
"Then how did ye have twins? Twins that are different sexes might I add!"
"Shit like this happens Paul! I can't exactly control where yer little friends go!"
"Are ye really blaming me? I wanted to wear a condom but ye said fuck it! We'll be fine, ye said! Well, look at us now! Stuck with kids we didn't even want!"
"If ye don't want them get rid of them!"
"We can't fucking do that," he cried.
"Why not? Let's fucking keep the boy and put the girl up for adoption...tell the girls she died or some shit like that..."
"How do ye know someone will adopt her?"
"Paul...get me the phone..."
"Why?"
"Get me the phone!"
"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "Here," he slammed it on the table. I rolled my eyes and dialed a number. "Who are ye calling?"
"Why do ye care?" I spat. "Hello?"
"Hey! What's up?"
"Ye want another kid?"
"Who are ye talking to?" Paul asked once more.
"Shut up!" I gritted my teeth.
"Why?"
"Not you. So, answer the question. Do ye want another kid?"
"Why?"
"Cause ye can't have anymore and I got an extra,"
"I'm still confused,"
"I had twins," the words stung as the left my lips. "I'm keeping the boy...don't really want another girl. Care to take her? I trust that you'd take really good care of her..." My eyes started to water.
"Are ye sure ye wanna do this?" Paul whispered.
"Yeah," I nodded while crying. "So? Ye want her? Ye get to name her and everything,"
"Oh my god Maggie...this is so unexpected...hold on...ROB!"
"Yeah?"
"Maggie's putting her baby up for adoption and wants us to have it..."
"I'll pay for the crib and everything," I added.
"Rob?"
"Let's do it,"
"We're in. We'll be there in ten,"
"Oh my god, thank ye so much! See ye in a few," I hung up and wiped my tears away.
"Who's taking her?"
"Nancy and Rob..." I cried.
"Hey...are ye sure ye wanna do this?"
"Yeah," I whispered. "What are we gonna name him?"
"James?"
"Works for me," I pouted.
"Are ye gonna be okay?"
"Yeah...I'll still be her aunt..." I let out a faint chuckle, "now I get to see the world from Linda's point of view..." I fiddled with my wedding ring for a few minutes and finally let out a sigh, "Are we doing the right thing?"
"I don't know anymore...