Hey, so it's summer!!!!
WOOO!
I'm gunna blog, because, well, I've nothing better to do than read fanfics, listen to music, and this.
So, as you may know, I'm bi. Yup. No, that doesn't mean I have crushes on every girl I come across, which is probably what everybody I've told thinks.
I'm a bisexual, music obsessed, self conscious, Killjoy who also seems to be a pretty depressed piece of shhhhiiiiiinnnnnkk.
Wow, nice, Becca, nice ... -Laughs awkwardly-
Don't get me wrong, I try to enjoy life to the fullest, but you know... well, you don't know, but some people might do...
Music, sometimes, is the only thing I have to rely on. It's weird, not having a best friend, not having any close friends, for that matter, so all I do is listen to music, play guitar, sing, play a tiny bit of drums.
Because of the fact that I don't like talking to people about my problems because I feel like I'm just getting on their nerves, I tend to just turn to music as a last resort.
And since last year, music has taken over my life, and to be honest, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Not the whole Not-Having-A-Friend-To-Talk-To bit... Just the Music bit.
I love music. And only some people understand what it's like to have music be the one thing you trust the most.
But, because life's a little bitch, there's always going to be something to ruin your happiness.
And for most teens, that's always going to be society and other people's opinions.
You see, being a teen is supposed to be easy, and in years to come, we'll look back at our teen years and think "Being a teen was so easy. Why did I complain so much?" But for now, it's torture for some of us.
There's always going to be some opinion, from an adult, another teenager, just anything that's going to kill our dreams and hopes.
And as I was saying to my dad the other day, my dream has always been to be a singer, not for the fame, just to know that the music I create could help people to cope with whatever they're going through, to have them relate to my music and have it help them as much as music helps me. But, because of society, and their twisted little judgmental 'Words Of Wisdom', I'm terrified to put myself out there. And so are a lot of people, and my advise is, (Even if I'm too socially awkward to take it) to just do what you've wanted to do all your life.
Don't let people tell you that you 'Can't' do something, because, to me, 'Can't' is just 'Can' with a typing error added onto the end. Just a little 't' that adults add to terrify us and make us feel insecure.
If somebody tells you that you can't do what you love, what you've always wanted to do, they're wrong.
But, it is a horrible thing having somebody tell you that you shouldn't do what you've always wanted to do, it scares me to death knowing that what I spend most of my life doing right now will have no effect what-so-ever on my future.
Do what you love, do the things that make you happy and don't let some stupid little sentence stand in your way.
That being said, make sure your dream isn't to harm other people.
If your dream is to murder some helpless "being"... Maybe.. Don't do that...
Point is, I may be too awkward to do what I love, and so may a lot of other people, and people will try to stop you, but you've just gotta do what you love and enjoy life.
So that's why, for now, I'm throwing myself into music.
That's why, for now, I'm not letting some stupid word kill my hopes and dreams, even If I am terrified to even talk in front of my class.
And why exactly am I linking Music and Society together, you may ask.
Because, in my class, I'm the one who sits in the corner, letting my friends do all of the talking, going red when I answer the register, thinking about music all the time, if I do talk, it's usually about music, the one who gets the mick taken out of her because of a stupid name I have on Facebook two years ago, the one who refuses to do anything because I'm terrified of knowing I have a class full of people staring at me. And society judges me for that.
Teenagers can't win.
They go out with friends, society thinks they're taking drugs and having sex.
They stay indoors, society thinks they're wasting our life and the internet is 'Taking Over'
They stay out a little after sun-down and they're "Plotting Something".
They go in early and there "Must Be Something Wrong. They Must've Done Something."
They try to be the best they can and they're "Fake.".
They try to be themselves and they're "Not enough.".
We can't win.
Weather we're Sporty, or we love Reading, or we love Shopping, or Music, or anything, we're always going to be put down.
And for me, I come into the Music-Obsessed category.
And I, for one, love alternate rock and indie.
So adults, society, anybody other than people like myself, immediately come to the conclusion, that Music is the reason I am depressed.
Even If I'm not completely depressed, if I just complain it's "too hot", it's because the music I listen to makes me "Moody".
Well, no, that's wrong.
I'm depressed for an unknown reason, but when I feel down, sad, angry ect, I plug in my headphones and music takes all the pain away. Music is the reason I'm not completely Out-Of-My-Mind-Wanting-To-Die-All-The-Time depressed.
The reason I listen to that music is because I can relate to the lyrics, I've gotten to know, and love, the band members characteristics, I've fallen in love with the things they say, the things they sing, the things they play.
And us as teens, we all have our own thing to make us feel better.
Society, you may think that the things we love are the reason for our sudden mood changes, but in actual fact, our passions are the reason most of us aren't constantly trying to find a way to end life.
Stop your judging, and face the facts.. The things you name us for, the things you put us down for, are the things that help us cope when you're being a complete ass.
Sincerely, Becca, and probably a few other teens too, who probably won't read this.
P.S, if something's wrong in this, it's because I'm posting without reading through first. ;)
