Ok, so as I may have mentioned before, I admin a page.
It has 1.7k likes, at the moment.
I don't know. It's weird. Like, what I post, people see and read and I just find it weird. Because I have literally no voice at all at school, but behind my computer, I can be as sassy, quirky or confident as I like.
Of course, me being me, I love every one of our likers. I don't class them as "Fans" like most pages do. Why would people be a fan of somebody who sits around doing nothing? Instead, I count them as family.
I see admins from other pages saying "I love all of our fans".
Likers aren't fans.
They're just like you. Just like me. Why would they be a fan?
They're a fan of what you're posting about, yea, but not a fan of the actual admin themselves.
Anyway, ignoring that.
I love our likers, so much. We have the best likers in the world. And I feel as though I can relate to most of them. You know, like I'll post something about my day, and ask them about theirs, and they'll comment asking how I am and talk about their day and it's kind of like having 1,700 friends who you can relate to. Which is good for me, as I don't have a best friend, apart from Bekah. Hey Bekah, if you're reading this ;) But even then, Bekah doesn't know everything about me. So, who's to stop me from saying that I relate to what the likers say?
So I have an admin page, and I tell them that if they ever want to talk, just go onto my admin page and send me a message. I hate seeing that they've had bad days, and I honestly do care about every single one of our likers. I honestly do. It's like they're a part of a big family or something. Most of them even share the same music taste, which is pretty amazing.
So I tell them to come talk to me if they ever need help, or just want somebody to talk to. To confide with.
And it's weird. Because that's exactly what people do. I never thought somebody would read what I type and think "I do want to talk to her.". But they do. I get messages from people, who I'm not going to name (obviously), who come to me for advice. I honestly don't mind it. In fact, I love being able to help them. I always try to reply, to help them and be a friend for them, even if I am just some dumb admin from half way across the world. I still get messages from people who ask if I'm ok, talk to me about things, ask for help, give me advice. I've even made friends that way.
What this whole blog thing if about, is that, I just find it weird, that people who don't know me come to me for advice.
My friends will be asking me what I'm up to, and I'll just say "Listening to music." and not say anything else, when in reality, I might be trying to talk somebody out of cutting themselves. Which is weird. My friends get annoyed when I don't reply fast enough, and I say "On guitar, sorry." Or something. But in actual fact, sometimes I'm trying to stop somebody from self harming.
It's weird.
My friend have no clue. And I hate talking about it because I feel like I'm bragging, but sometimes I have to try to convince people that they're worth living. And that scares me that there are probably people who feel like that that won't message me that like that page.
It scares me that people who like that page might be cutting when I'm asleep, and I could, if I tried my hardest, have talked to them and tried to convince them that they're worth more than a razor.
I do try. I apologise if I don't do it right, but I do try to be there for them.
I really do care about them like they're my little sister or brother, even when most of them are older than me, I still feel this need to protect them. Which is stupid, but it's just the way I am.
I'm gunna end that there.
But just know, that if you're a liker, and you know the admin DansBabyLlama (That would be me) then feel free to come talk whenever you feel like it.
Bye bye.
