6. Hugs and Goodbyes

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     When I said bye to Natalie and her parents, something left me. A feeling I felt before.

When I said bye to Natalie's parents, I was sad. When I said goodbye to Natalie, I was broken inside. Knowing Natalie might not make it was one of the hardest things Iv'e been through. That's always been hard for me.

Accepting, accepting that my dad is dead, accepting that my family is falling apart, and now; accepting my new love, a new part of my family, is not safe.

      We all aren't safe, but even with protection from Natalie's parents and loved ones, she isn't being attacked from the outside. She is cornered in the inside and there is no escape.

Natalie brought something into my life the day I met her. It was multiple things. Hope, happiness, a new love, and a new friend. I had hope that Natalie was going to be the answer for us, for me.

I had hope that she was going to survive. And I still have hope that she is going to survive, but I don't know.

     It has been a week since I have left Natalie. I have guilt inside of me, like I left her all alone. Even though, I am sure that she will die loved and feeling protected. Wow, now I'm the one jumping to conclusions.

Before you tear up and picture poor little Natalie slowly closing her eyes and leaving the world. Natalie is not going to die. Well for now at least, Natalie is under severe watch. She has not been positive for the Fariole disease yet she has not been negative.                    
    
Her parents will find out soon. I pray for Natalie every night and every morning. You might just think that I can walk over to her house and throw a party. Well I can't. She lives in 7C and I live in 24E. Not house number 24, street number 24.

Me and my new friend Natalie live at least 1 and a half hours apart. But I will always be there with Natalie, whether she is tested negative or positive. I will be there.

     I will be there to celebrate or I will be there to say goodbye. Either way, Natalie Is a piece of my heart now and she will remain there. Whether she becomes a memory or a surviver.

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