Tallstar's revenge: Chapter 22: a rewrite from my head

Chapter 22:Part 1

Tallpaw's POV

As I stood on Outlook Rock I realized that this is my chance to become  a warrior.  Dawnstripe told me to look and see what I could see. " I see a black-and-white dog chasing sheep in the hill meadow." I heard Dawnstripe ask what else. "Grouse beneath the copse, and a fire in Twolegplace. There's a hawk diving for a rabbit." Dawnstripe said I did very good and we trotted back over to the clearing where Hareflight and Shrewpaw were waiting. How did you do? I heard the voice coming from Shrewpaw. I listened while my mentor said that I did good. Our mentors headed off to the side to talk while we practiced battle skills. I crouched, remembering Dawnstripe's advice in my head. I focused on Shrewpaw's left shoulder as a feint then leaped at Shrewpaw at the right. Shrewpaw said I was a cheater and I said it was fair. Shrewpaw then lunged at me, grappling my shoulder and kicking out my hind legs. I was impressed and let him roll onto his side. As soon as our backs were to our mentors Shrewpaw sank his claws in my pelt. I let him think I was scared then as soon as he lunged toward me. I leaped sideways and as he twisted to counter my move  I shoved my muzzle underneath his belly. We boxed for a moment then Shrewpaw got me on the ground and started churning his hind legs on my back. I wondered why our mentors weren't doing anything.