Trumperica

"Walls Are Bae"

Thanks to @catmanperson for this idea! Also, the terrible writing and grammar is intentional (it's supposed to be like Trump's actual thoughts.)

Trump's POV

"How much longer?" leona yelled at the pilot. i could tell she was getting really impatient, she took her shoes off and was fanning herself with a pamphlet. 

she's pretty like my daughter. 

"Just fifteen minutes, ma'am," the pilot said back. ugh fifteen more minutes of sitting in this stuffy private jet with my vice president (i forgot his name) and the head trumpist, leona. leona is usually cool but not when she's annoyed. cuz she's really rich (but not QUITE as rich as me) and she's not used to being annoyed. 

"We're here, Mr. President, Mr. Vice President, Madam Head Trumpist," the pilot said cheerily. yes finally! i get to see my new wall being builded! cuz i luv walls, walls are bae. i'd build them EVERYWHERE if i could, but we need space for buildings and stuff. 

the pilot landed the private jet and we got out. leona was clearly bored already but at least the vice president looked interested. 

i looked around in awe as we walked across the muddy road. i didn't even care that my expensive suit was getting dirty, it was awesome! i had never been to texas before, and i had never seen such a vast expanse of just...trees and scrub. it was really really flat. but cool. 

"There it is!" leona pointed excitedly and i finally saw it. it was a beautiful creation of concrete, bricks and cement. my great wall of trump!!! it was here!!! i cried tears of joy, my dream was finally coming true!!! the place was filled with construction workers running around, operating cranes, lifts, and cement mixers. my wall was already about six feet high, and stretched forever in both directions. 

"I want to meet my baby!" i screamed, pushing past my tg's and running to the wall in delight. 

"Mr. President, I don't think that's a very good idea!" leona yelled, but i didn't care. the wall was all that mattered. 

"hi wall!" i pressed my face to the brick and inhaled the wonderful scent of dirt and sweat. "it's me, donald!!! i made you!!! i believed in you when no one else did!!! WALL, I AM YOUR FATHER!" 

"President Trump?" a construction worker lifted his visor off his face and stared at me incredulously. 

"yes! you can get my autograph later! i'm saying hello to my beautiful creation mr. wall here, is there a problem?"

"Um...no sir..." 

"GOOD, THEN GET OUT OF MY FACE!" 

"Yes, sir!" The worker quickly scampered away. 

"Are you satisfied with it, Mr. President?" leona asked. 

"SATISFIED? I LOVE IT!!!" I gushed. "I COULD STAND HERE HUGGING IT ALL DAY!!!" 

"If you're finished looking it over...we can...you know...get back to Trump City?" leona raised an eyebrow. 

"ALREADY?" i gasped. "NO! I WANT TO ADMIRE MY WORK MORE!" 

"alright," leona sighed, walking away. silly girl, she didn't understand. 

Suddenly, i heard a gunshot and the tg's surrounded me. but they weren't aiming for me. I looked to the right to see a smoldering crack in the wall. 

"NOOOO!" i screamed. "NOT MY WALL??? WHO HURT MY LITTLE BABY WALL, HUH?? I SHALL KILL YOU!" 

then there was more bigger gunshots and the wall started crumbling in places. 

"GO FIND WHOEVER'S SHOOTING AND KILL THEM!!!" i yelled and half the tg's ran off to fulfill my orders. half stayed to protect me. 

the tg's that left came back with a girl in a gray jumpsuit. she was carrying several guns. 

"WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DARE YOU SHOOT MY GLORIOUS WALL???" i bellowed. 

"i'm sorry, i don't speak Trash Can." 

i looked up, preparing for her cardex to ping, but then i saw she didn't have one!!! how was this possible??? 

"where's your cardex?" 

"i don't have one," she said vaguely. 

"WHERE IS IT???" 

"they took it off." 

a tg kneed her in the back and she grunted, pitching over for a second.

"TELL ME EVERYTHING!" 

"fine," she rolled her eyes. "my name's Jaylene Gregor, and i'm a member of operation trump dump. we're a rebellion, but you'll never find us." 

"a rebellion? against us?" leona gasped. 

"no, against that crow over there," Jaylene rolled her eyes. "Yes, against you!!! Who else would we rebel against?" 

"kill her," i growled, and the tg obeyed, shooting her in the head. ew i thought i might've gotten blood on my suit. 

"TG's, return to the jet," leona barked and and all the tg's obeyed. cuz leona's boss. well, i'm THE boss, but leona's still boss. 

And she's pretty, like my daughter. also, walls are bae. 

A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed that chapter of Trumperica! It's a unique one, for sure! If you liked my imitation of Trump's thoughts, please make the little gray star in the corner turn gold :) Also, comments would be appreciated!

This update is a celebration of 2K READS!!! WOOHOO!!! WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE!!!

#letsdumptrump