Neverland

4.

We all crashed at my place that night. Suri stayed in the bathroom, due to the fact she got violently sick once we reached the front door. Kelsey teased the fact it was the Mother Mary figurine that sat on the coffee table, so it was God's way of punishing her for drunk driving.

Perry laid in my hammock, Jax and Kels took my King sized bed. I on the other hand was wide awake and had no intention of going to sleep anytime soon. I checked on my sister to make sure she was alright before checking on my parents.

I didn't know if I was checking on them to make sure they were really okay or just to make sure they were in a deep sleep.

Thankfully, my older brothers weren't home. Both were away at college and I knew they would be home soon for our Sunday dinner. It's officially Friday morning. I took out my library card and did two more lines right in front of the Mother Mary figurine, before laying down on the couch.

I don't know if I fell asleep, probably just day dreamed until I heard my father come down the stairs. It was 7:30 AM, he was going off to work.

I watched him prepare his coffee and had decided to join him.

Truth be told, my dad was actually fit for his 55 year old self. He didn't have much grey hair, I was completely convinced that he dyed it but he insisted that he was just aging gracefully.

"What are you doing up so early Troop?" That was his nickname for me. I don't know where it came from. "The sun is up so, so am I." I beamed dramatically and he chuckled.

I decided to make him some breakfast while he prepared his lunch. I was after all, a very thoughtful daughter. "You graduate in a few months. Are you excited? Have any idea what you want to do next?" He asked me, in all honesty, I felt like there should be a rule against adults asking seniors what they wanted to do after school.

Especially strangers. First ask how I'm doing before asking me what I want to do with my life. Did they really expect 17 and 18 year olds to have it all together when half of the people asking didn't even complete their degrees? That was bullshit. It's no one's business.

But truthfully, I think I was angry because I didn't know what I wanted to do. "I don't know. Maybe sell drugs." I tested the waters with that joke but as far as my dad knew, I went to school, came back, went out with friends occasionally and that was it. No foolishness, no shenanigans.

"If that's the case, I'm getting you your own Mother Mary figurine." My dad teased back and I mentally scolded. That wouldn't stop me.

"I don't know dad. What's really for me, you know? I don't find pleasure in the simplicities in life and there's no way I was born to just pay bills and die."

No, I was born to live life freely and die. Live life freely meant doing whatever the hell I pleased.

My dad didn't say anything for a minute, I guess not really knowing how to reply. "It's what you do between paying bills and death that matter. There's no rush. Find out what you enjoy in life. Take all the time you need."

I guess a narcotics pharmacists was my fate then. This talk was making my stomach churn.

"Your mom and I won't be here to watch over you forever. I just want you to have some type of plan. I want you to be happy with your degree." My dad added and I smiled at him as I slid his plate with toast, a fried egg and two sausage links towards him.

"I don't need to be watched over dad. I"ll be fine. I'll just mooch off of you two until your dying breath, before I invest your life insurance into something that brings me such joy." My dad and I cracked jokes a lot. So he laughed, which made me happy.

"It's okay to be looked over Troop. I just want you to make good decisions-" And that's when I checked out. He was giving me the speech, he probably should've given me when I was 13.

I tried to ignore his banter, by avoiding his gaze mostly, eventually he stopped looking at me altogether and ended the conversation, probably realizing that I wasn't even paying attention.

But not because I was being rebellious but because from his point of view, I was just a teenager who thought they had it all together. When I knew deep down, I had no idea. But I ignored the feeling that came after it. My hunger decreased with the nauseous settling in. I tried to hide the discomfort from my father but I already knew that creepy ass Mother Mary figurine was still perched up on the coffee table, right behind me.