Neverland

8.

"I want all of you to be present, I don't want any phones or tablets at the dinner table." My mother warned my two brothers, my younger sister and myself as we set the table. It was time for our Sunday dinner and I was actually looking forward to eating for once. I was hungry.

Dad had just got home from work and I made sure Natalie was all in her seat, ready for dinner.

"You better sit next to me," She warned, wagging her finger at me and I smiled and brushed her hair back. "Of course, you're my favorite," I said, whispering in her ear, causing her to giggle.

But I wasn't saying that just for the hell of it. I was saying it because it's true. She's my favorite.

Kevin and James sat across, while my mother sat on one end and my father at the other. Mother said Grace, and we all reached around the table at the asparagus, mashed potatoes and baked chicken.

"How's school Kev?" Mom asked and Kevin turned his nose up immediately and I

rolled my eyes. Oh here he goes.

"Steady 4.0, as always. Lacrosse team is doing great, Mandy's doing absolutely perfect. So I guess you could say pretty well." Kevin gloated and then went on to talk about how Mandy (his perfect girlfriend who's voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard) was graduating the same week as I was.

"Speaking of the little sis, you excited for graduation?" James added. I hated both of my brothers. But James, I didn't hate as much as I hated Kevin. James at least pretended to give a shit about me.

"Ecstatic." I was being short with him but I didn't care. I reverted my attention to Natalie, cutting her chicken into small pieces to make it easier for her to eat.

James then went on to gloat about his volunteer work and how he wanted to purpose to his long term girlfriend. I forgot her name. But it really wasn't that important.

"I'm so proud of you both. We miss you terribly. The house is so empty without you two." My mom says, her lip twitching and I felt a pang to my chest.

Thanks mom.

My brothers continued to crow about their achievements, my mother and father gawking over them both like they were two celebrities. Natalie didn't notice, in fact she enjoyed hearing about it, she enjoyed hearing about anyone doing well.

Kevin and James already had their life plans set in stone since they were in 8th grade, and that was the highlight of my mother's conversation with anyone she came into contact with.

Natalie wanted to become a veterinarian or in her words- puppy doctor. Even though she was only 4, she had her shit together before I did.

I felt like there was such a pressure on teens to figure out what they wanted to do. There was such a pressure for college like it was the only resort. Parent's like to cover up the high standards they set for their children by insisting it was for our own good and they just wanted us to be financial stable. The sad part is: that's all that really mattered in the world. Money.

Kevin and James were both on their way to a successful and stable source of income with their degrees and marriage on the way. My parent's had it. The whole damn town had it. And people insist that money can't buy happiness but I've never met someone who was broke as dirt and happy about it. You'll never be truly happy without money. You'll be stressed.

I didn't want to listen to them talk anymore. I didn't want to listen to my father start his whole "Job, money and marry speech." It was draining.

So I excused myself from the table, did a quick line of coke in the bathroom and joined everyone again at dinner.

That would show my mother. She had all her children at the dinner table. But I had mentally checked out. I was in my own little world. Far away from them. I heard Natalie say something to me, I think it was either jump or dump, I'm not sure. I just helped her finish her plate before starting on my own. She had this habit of missing her mouth completely when it came to her food.

My mom gave me an odd look from the corner of her eye and mouthed something but I turned my head. I didn't listen. I didn't like to.