My World and Hers (a Sam Winchester love story)

Chapter 23: Difficulties Adjusting

A/N: I know and I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while! I really wanted to, but I haven't had a chance with school starting.

<Sam's POV>

Keira falls asleep in the backseat of the Impala in my arms as soon as we start moving. We decided to take an extra day to get the annulment papers signed and let Keira rest a little while for the drive tomorrow. I feel horrible. It makes me nauseous just looking at her, especially now that I can make out every single detail.

Her skin is unnaturally pallid and she has dark bruise-like circles under her eyes. The slice in her shoulder was opened by punching Becky in the face, but it definitely didn't help that I yanked her. I just sort of panicked that Becky would hurt Keira-which was obviously unnecessary. In any case, the wound on Keira's shoulder is only one of many.

There are burns all over her stomach and wrists, and cuts along her arms and legs. Most of them have already healed, there were probably others that have healed over already without any scars, but that doesn't improve my outlook.

As we pull into the motel parking lot, Keira's eyes snap open and she bolts upright, looking around, breathing heavily. She quickly remembers where she is and relaxes.

"Where are we?"

I repress a shiver when she speaks. I've missed her voice so much since she was kidnapped. In reality, it's much the same-almost exactly. But to me, it sounds so much different. It's more of a deadpan now, devoid of emotion.

"At our motel," Dean answers.

She slowly follows me from the back seat, moving stiffly. I have to help her out, becuase she's weak and end up just carrying her inside, setting her gently on the bed. Now that she's back, I don't want to leave her, so while Dean is showering, I change clothes and climb into bed beside Keira.

She scoots over and nestles up against me, sighing contentedly.

"When I was...gone..." she starts, "I sometimes dreamt about being with you. It helped me get through."

I don't know whether it should break my heart or fill it up when she says that. It's equal parts sad and sweet. I kiss her head.

"Get some rest," I say, "you need it."

Without another word, she does as I say. In the silence, I'm left alone with my thoughts. Keira is finally back, and all things considered, she could be in much worse condition. The wounds will heal and very few of them will scar, I'm sure. But if I'm worried about anything, it's her mental health.

I let out a slow breath and Keira shifts.

"Go to sleep," she murmurs, "otherwise I won't be able to."

For her sake, I force myself to relax. Keira's mental health will be the same in the morning-good or bad. Right now, I just need to sleep and be glad that I have her back.

<Keira's POV>

Even though I'm exhausted, I get very little rest. Every sound jolts me back to consciousness and every time Sam moves even the slightest bit, I find myself cringing away. It's illogical because with Sam and Dean I feel safe again. I feel warm and light and like everything will turn out okay. But old habits die hard and I've reconditioned myself to my life-if you can call it that-in that torture house with Crowley.

As soon as enough light is flooding in to warrant getting up, I creep out of bed and start a pot of coffee. While that's brewing, I go into the bathroom and consider my reflection. The girl that looks back isn't me. Where I had been fresh-faced with stormy but bright eyes, my eyes are dark and haunted.