Damaged Together

Chapter Twenty Four

JESSE’S POV

Once I get to my driveway and send a quick goodnight text to Alyssia, I mentally prepare myself to walk into my house, like I always do. I take a deep breath and remind myself to try and keep my cool and not inflame any situation.

I shut off my car and am at the front door sooner then I want to be.

I hear a loud crash from the other side of the door and I immediately think of Jack’s wellbeing and rush inside, only to find my stepdad standing over a broken lamp. “The fuck did you do Jimmy?” I regretfully snap off at him.

His eyes quickly move over to the doorway where I am still standing, venom is radiating off of him. “Did you just curse at me? Because I don’t think that is a very respectful way to talk to your father.” He bites out while stumbling over to me.

“You are not my father.” I shortly respond, I refuse to consider him family, let alone my dad.

“Well, if I was, maybe you’d actually have some manners now wouldn’t you?” He proceeds to throw me up against the closed door.

Despite his short stance he was quite beefy and when he wasn’t so wasted that he was passed out, he definitely gave me a run for my money.

“Whatever Jim,” I say not wanting to cause any issues tonight, “I am going to bed.”

He steps in front of the path I was getting ready to take and I realize this isn’t going to be an easy night.

I try to step the other way to get around him and once again, he blocks me.

“Maybe this will teach you not to disrespect me.” He says as he pushes me against the door again, this time with even more force than the last. His fat hand wraps around my throat, resulting in me gasping for air, searching for a breath.

I pull at his arm in attempt to push him away but to no avail. I feel my pulse in my brain and my vision grows blurry. My throat feels as though it is collapsing upon itself and I feel myself losing consciousness.

With the last ounce of strength I have I pull my leg up and knee him right in the balls. He releases his grip and my legs collapse underneath me, “Fuck you” I am able to speak as I catch my breath and he is still recovering on the floor.

I start to make my way towards my room and think I am about home free until I feel a hand on my shoulder jolt me back.

I turn to see my stepdad there and a fist being swung at me, before I can dodge it, it connects with left side of my face. “Fuck you too.” He spits.

I am left there by myself with a stinging face. I go to the bathroom to inspect the damage. Probably a bit of a black eye, however, nothing too bad.

I go to my room, shut off my light and think of Jack, my only real family.

I think of the amount of times where I have become the spitting image of Jim and hit my little brother around much harder than an older brother should.

It only happens when I am drunk. All my feelings get amplified and my angry is typically taken out on him. He’s the only one I know I actually can beat on without getting hit back so I automatically go to him when I need a punching bag. I’ve left him with broken bones and black eyes that I can never take back.

I am not really sure why I drink considering the fact that I know it does this to me. I put so many other people at risk and I’m so reckless.

But it’s like when there is alcohol in front of me, I cannot help but consume it. It’s more than a want, it’s a need.

I push these thoughts out of my brain, I hate thinking about them. I try to think of something else. Alyssia comes into my head, typical.

I think of us being in a nice little city apartment when we are older. Just being big enough for the two of us. I think of us cooking dinners together and walking up in each other’s arms. A smile grows on my face.

I feel myself falling more and more in love with her. I know I am bad for her. I get too angry, too jealous, rage constantly clouds my judgment but I am too selfish to let her go and allow her to fall in love with someone else.

I can’t help but imagine myself with her until the day I die. It’s not just a teenage romance. We both know that but will she still love me when she figures out the monster that I am?

I know the answer to that yet I don’t want to admit it to myself just yet.

I can’t let it end before it ever really started.

~~~~~~~~~~~

So, I let some secrets come out in this chapter. Oops.

I hope you guys enjoyed!

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xx, Emily