Damaged Together

Chapter Forty Two

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As we waited longer my anxiety got worse.

My fear was heightened.

My breathing was quick.

My vision was blurred.

My throat was tight.

And worse of all my brain was running in circles.

The only thing keeping me sane was Jesse’s hand rubbing gentle circles on my thigh.

The constant reminder to stay in this world. To stay myself. To not lose my mind.

The seconds turn to minutes. The minutes to hours.

I have no idea how long we wait but it seems like ages.

A doctor enters the dull room and makes his way to us, his face is unreadable.

“Alyssia Clark?” He asks me. I take my legs off of Jesse’s lap and stand. I wobble at first but get my balance. Anticipation and fear is swimming through my bones, infecting my blood, flowing into my heart. I nod my head slightly. “He’s stable.”

It seems as though the entire world has been lifted off my shoulders just with those two words. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding in and my body relaxes, “but he took a lot of those pills, he’s lucky you were there- really lucky. We had to pump his stomach but he’s resting right now. We have to keep him in the psych ward until our doctors feel he is stable enough to be released. There are some cops wanting to talk to you guys who will be here in a little bit and his parents said they are on their way.”

“Thank you.” Those seem to be the only words that come from my mouth. “Thank you so much.”

He grabs my hand and shakes it, “I am Doctor Taylor by the way.”

I nod my head but can’t talk because of the lump forming in my throat. I will myself not to cry right now.

“You guys can go in and see him, no promises that he won’t be sedated but you can check.” His pager beeps and he’s gone in a flash after waving goodbye. I throw my arms around Jesse and bury my head in his chest. I feel relief replacing the anticipation and fear.

Tears are flooding my eyes but they are tears of happiness.

A smile is pulling at my lips, I can’t help but squeeze Jesse tighter.

A grin is now present on his face as he kisses me. Relief seems to be radiating off of me.

“Come on,” I grab his hand and guide him to the room in which I was directed in. This hospital is like a maze but we find our way to Room 539, Preston’s designated room.

I take a steady breath in before step in. Part of me is terrified that he is going to hate me. I know he wo’t in the long run but what if he didn’t want to be saved? What if he wanted to die? I know what that’s like.

But I also know that now I am so thankful that I’m not dead. So I suck up my fear, hold my shoulders and make my way to him.

 He has a private room and the walls are all white. The room is practically empty and smells clean.

He’s lying on the bed, both arms and legs are strapped down to the bed, probably to keep him from getting up and finding a way to hurt himself again. His eyes flicker open when we walk in. “Heey.” I chime as I make my way to the side of his bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit. Thanks for asking though,” I’ve always loved how he never minced words. “And thank you again.” His voice cracks and I can see tears forming- immediately causing my eyes to water. “I realized after I took them that I didn’t want to die. I know it’s going to be tough from here on out but I want to try. I am so sorry for everything Alyssia. I want to make it up to you. But I know I can’t do that if I am dead, so I am here… for you.” I throw my arms around his neck and let my tears fall for the thousandth time today.

Despite him not being able to hug me back I feel him nuzzle his head into my neck and I feel normal.

The only time I ever feel normal is when I am with Jesse. I do to an extent when I am Bri but I still feel like I have to work to be alive. Jesse is like my special kind of oxygen and nobody has ever made me feel as home as he does- until now. I find this strange.

“I love you so much. Thank you for leaving that note in my locker. I don’t think I would’ve been able to make it if I’d lost you forever.” I whisper in his ear. The warmth of his body is a large contrast to the chill of the hospital.

“Lyssia, I need to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone.” I lean up from hugging him and just sit on the bed. I nod my head, slightly scared of what he’s going to say.

“I’m gay.”

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So I had three of my friends at lunch today pestering me saying “No, Preston can’t die. If you make him die I will cry.” So the end result is this.

Speaking of friends- my friend Cassidy is writing a bomb story called “Is There Such Things As New Beginnings?” her user is Cassidylynn_422

I follow her on here if that makes it easier for yall to find her.

BUT CHECK OUT HER STORY SHE’S A GREAT WRITER & A REALLY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE

Please don’t forget to vote and comment!

Love yall, Emily