Damaged Together

Chapter Forty One

My mind goes blank and I see blackness. I am too late. He’s already taken them. I hear faint footsteps in the background of my thoughts.

Jesse.

He grabs my arms to stop them from shaking which I didn’t realize I was doing and walks me over to Preston and almost forces me to sit down, not that it is that difficult since I resemble a zombie. He pulls out his phone without any words to me.

Preston sets his head in my lap and his tears drip down to my jeans and leave wet spots across my thighs. His mouth remains motionless.

I run my fingers through his short brown hair to try and comfort him. Am I really too late? Is this boy really going to die right here? Tears fill my eyes and threaten to come crashing down.

“No!” Jesse shouts into the phone as if on cue. I didn’t even realize he’d been talking already, “Send paramedics now! He just swallowed a handful of pills and is going to fucking die in my girlfriends lap if you don’t send someone.” His voice is powerful against the quietness of the rest of the room.

The 911 operator seems to accept Jesse’s demand because he is no longer yelling at her.

I am only half paying attention to him though as Preston speaks to me, “I am so sorry,” he says through the tears.

My heart feels as though it dropped to the bottom of my stomach. I should be apologizing- not him. “No Pres. Shh, it’s okay. Just fight,” I choke on my tears and let them fall silently down my face as I try to gain my composure once again.

“I should have said something to her, done something. Anything. I watched silently as she terrorized you. I know she made you do that to yourself and it’s my fault that I never said anything” His voice growing with strength.

I know he is referencing my scars. I don’t confirm nor deny his statements. I don’t have the heart to tell him that he’s right.

“Preston.” I pull his face up to match my gaze, “Preston, listen to me. You need to fight. The paramedics will be here soon. I promise. I can’t lose you. Please just stay with me.” I have given up on trying to hold in my tears again and I let them fall off my cheeks.

My mind runs quickly to the past barely letting me keep up.

I think of all the times he’d hangout with me, made me feel special, made me feel like I actually had someone to defend me.

His eyes began closing and I can see him losing consciousness slowly.

“No!” My mouth yells without my brain’s permission.

I hear the police banging at the door from across the house.

Preston is fading in and out.

I am losing him.

My body is numb but aches at the same time.

The paramedics and some cops show up in Preston’s room, I am assuming they broke down the door. They immediately put him onto a stretcher and one of them turns and looks at me. “Do you know what he took?”

I wipe my tear filled eyes and hand him the empty pill bottle.

His eyes widen slightly and looks up at his team. “We gotta rush him.” Urgency is evident in his voice.

My heart drops even further into the pit of my stomach and my arms subconsciously find Jesse. His hands wraps around me at the same time- like clockwork.

It’s like our bodies are in synch without us even knowing it.

They wheel Preston out on the stretcher with Jesse and I following closely behind.

“One of you guys can ride in the ambulance.” A tall paramedic tells us. Jesse nods me along and I hop in the car after giving him a quick kiss.

Medicine and equipment surrounds me and I sit in a tiny seat perpendicular to the bed but I reach out and wrap Preston’s hand in mine.

I squeeze it tight and it twitches against mine despite the fact that his eyes are closed and he’s nonresponsive.

I let the tears drip down my face, not caring about anything other than that this wonderful, amazing guy may be spending his very last moments in this ambulance.

The ride is quick, however, very noisy. But one of the noises is the slow beep of the machine monitoring Preston’s heart. So I don’t mind. The noise is comforting. He’s still somewhat with us.

My heart is racing in chest but the patterned beep keeps me calm.

With every other beep I take in a breath then I let it out.

Breathing in and out.

I don’t know what to do so I pray. I don’t know what I believe in and I don’t know how I am praying to but I do.

I lost faith when I was young. I don’t know what is up there or wherever but I know that Preston cannot leave me. I refuse to let him leave.

He’s too good.

My thoughts are cut off by them rolling Preston out of the ambulance, barely giving me time to catch up. We have arrived at the hospital and my stomach ties itself into a knot.

I chase to catch up with the paramedics and doctors rolling him on the stretcher.

Everyone is rushing making my head spin, my heart quickens, my airway restricts, my hands shake.

No not right now.

This is the worst possible time for an anxiety attack. I try to stop it.

I can’t.

The world blanks and I lose track of Preston but it doesn’t matter too much because my feet won’t move.

My breathing is heavy; my chest rises and falls quickly. I feel someone’s hand fall onto my arm, “Lyssia, are you okay?” Jesse comes into my blurred view.

I shake my head no- not able to form words.

He quickly wraps his arms around me, “Shh, it’s okay. It will be okay. I love you. Calm down. I know you can.” He whispers in my ear over and over until my breathing slows and my mind processes everything.

“Thank you,” I mouth, tears filling my eyes.

How did I get so lucky?

He doesn’t respond, just grabs my hand and takes me to the waiting room, sits down and guides me into the seat next to me.

And we wait.

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