Fall (Bangtan Sonyeondan BTS Alternate Universe)

17. Need

Blood.

I clenched my hands in fists to avoid looking at the prick of dried blood on my fingertip.

My mind was reeling. What does this mean? I must be sleep deprived to have come up with such a bizarre dream, I must be messed up from something.

I mean, maybe I'm just so desperate for answers that I'm making this all up. Rolling off of Namjoon and onto the empty space beside him, I sigh, unsettled.

I curl my body to just barely press against Namjoon and close my eyes.

This time I don't dream at all. It's the deep sleep like death where everything is black and nothing is happening, you aren't aware of anything. Everything just ceases to exist, even you.

When I next wake up, Namjoon's arms are wrapped around my waist again, my body half pulled on top of him. I resist the urge to giggle like a fool, instead laying my chin on my hands and looking at his face.

The sun has started to rise, casting a warm golden glow across the room like a river of melted sunlight.

His face was a sky, and my fingers clouds, as I lightly roamed his face, rubbing his brow and tracing the slope of his nose.

It's too early for this, and I know I should let him sleep, but I felt the need to get assurance that he was here, that he was real, that I was here with him.

My fingers now reaching his lips, I hovered over them before pulling my hand away, embarrassed and overwhelmed at the string of thoughts and images that had possessed my mind as soon as I set eyes on those perfectly plump, kissable lips.

Kissable? Fuck, what am I saying? It must be the sleep talking, not me. It's too early for my heart to be fluttering and beating so fast, it's too early for my cheeks to flush like this.

I can't be this pathetic, to get all embarrassed from someone who wasn't even awake to do anything to remotely cause me to get embarrassed and tongue tied. Weak.

I couldn't pull my eyes away though. I laid my hands on his chest, resting my head atop of them, and stared at him, taking in every detail that I could absorb.

"You gonna keep staring or you gonna act on your impulses?"

His lips glided easily, the words slipping out like velvet between perfectly formed lips, tongue barely visible between parted lips.

I was already blushing enough, but his words sent a heat wave over me, and I tensed, pulling away to lean up over him.

Remember, you're Sin, you're not afraid of anything.

I'm afraid of this.... I'm fucking terrified.

Swallowing it down, I forced my lips up into a smirk.

By now his eyes opened, and if the sunlight was a river then his eyes were a flood, a tsunami of browns covering me in a suffocating beauty.

I leaned down slowly, resting on my elbows so that my face was a few inches away from his, his breath fanning on my face.

I held my breath to keep from trembling, and I leaned in closer, pressing my forehead against his.

"That would be too easy," I whispered, tilting my head to kiss the side of his jaw. His skin felt soft, and it took all my strength to pull away and push myself off of him.

I got maybe two steps before he was swinging out of the bed. I got two more steps before he grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face him. Two more steps and my back was against the wall, his tall form hovering over me in an intimidating elation, effectively pinning me in place. One of his hands braced against the wall beside my shoulder, the other gripping my chin to pull my face upwards, looking at him.

"This isn't fair, I know, but I need, something, right now. Forgive me," he whispered to me, his eyes meeting mine and freezing me in place. I didn't understand what he meant, I was too unraveled by his hard, steely eyes.

A slight move of his hand and my face was tilted to the side, exposing my vulnerable neck. And then he was leaning down, and I understood.

His lips pressed against my neck in a gentle pressure, and I held in the gasp. I'll admit, I had dreamed of this moment, but I had never thought it would actually happen. And now here I was, and it was better than any dream because I was actually living it-

His lips grew harder, sharper, more confident, more needy on my neck, sloping down to my collarbone to bite and pull at the skin, sending waves of feelings that left me weak at the knees, and I let out a light sigh, moving my hands to his chest.

I intended to push him away, but I found myself pulling him closer, tugging his shirt closer to me in hopes that his body would follow. It did. I was no longer trapped by his body, I was enveloped in it, the warmth and security of his touch counteracting the panicked, frenzied feelings brought on by his lips attacking the skin around my collarbone.

I wondered if Suga did this to Star, if it hurt because of her piercings.

Then any thoughts of anyone other than Namjoon dissipated into nothing as his warm tongue flicked out to rub against a particularly harsh bite. It was probably intended to soothe, but instead it sent me even deeper into desperate excitement.

My throat closed up and my hands tightened on Namjoon's shirt, feeling his warm skin beneath the thin fabric.

My heart was pounding, and I was worried that I might explode if this kept going, but I didn't have the strength or the will to push him away. He said he needed something, and fuck, I would let him have this.

I was relieved before I could let out the garbled groan that had been growing in my throat this whole time, because there was a curt knock at the door and Namjoon sighed, his breath warm against my skin, causing me to shake slightly under his lips.

He pulled away and my eyes once again met his intense ones, before he walked to the door and opened it, speaking with whoever had knocked.

I managed to snap out of my stupor as the door closed behind them, and I scrambled after them, desperate to escape this room before I did something stupid like squeal on the bed about what had happened.

I slipped past them, seeing it was Jimin who had come, as he and Namjoon were deep in conversation, Namjoon leaning down to better hear the smaller boy.

I made my way to the empty couch by the stereo, holding my arms around myself and running my fingers across my now sensitive collarbones, imagining the marks that were no doubt coating them.

I looked up, my eyes inextricably pulled to Namjoon, staring at him as he spoke to Jimin, his lips moving fast, his hands moving to speak along with his words.

Then my eyes caught sight of something else, and my eyes were drawn to the shelf above the stereo.

A vase of flowers, a blue glow around them, coating the walls.

Blue peonies.

Jin, are you here? What does this mean?