Fall (Bangtan Sonyeondan BTS Alternate Universe)

32. Aspiration

I slept better than I had in months. No dreams of Jin, no nightmares, nothing but exhausted, blissful rest and the comforting feeling on Namjoon's hand on my thigh as I lay cuddled into him. My leg lay over his, my arm resting on his chest.

I never wanted to leave this place. I deluded myself for a while, pretending that we lived here, that we owned this house and we could do whatever we wanted to, all day. We could spend our days walking the path, admiring the flowers and exploring the shops in Myeongdong. Then, when the sun set, we could spend every night just as we did last night. Now that would be paradise.

"We look like shit. This won't do." Oh god, his voice was deeper than usual, thick with sleep, and no doubt still sore from all the noise we had made last night. It was gravelly, low and absolutely sexy as hell.

Noticing what he said, I lifted my head and looked down to see deep scratches trailing down his chest, his back no doubt looking the same. I traced my fingers down the marks, smirking as I remembered just what he sounded like as I made them.

Feeling the chilled touch of his hands on my stomach, I glanced down, noticing the varying dark marks of love bites covering my chest and stomach, surely covering my neck as well.

I smirked at him, licking my lips. "I kind of like this look on us." I reached my hand to press into the red scratches on his chest, feeling the hot skin. He looked up at me, a dark look in his eyes, and he sat up, bracing his arms around my chest and leaning over me.

"Oh yeah? It does look pretty good on you, seeing what I did to you, just what you begged for." I imagined he was just as lost as I was, thinking back to all of events of last night.

The sun was peeking through the window, and I knew we had a few more hours till it was high in the sky. And I knew exactly how I wanted to spend them.

It seemed like Namjoon knew as well, because his lips were already latched to my neck, looking to add more marks to the collection.

And then I didn't have to remember last night, because I was reliving it.

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I stood at the balcony, half dressed while Namjoon took a shower.

Standing there, I realized more of what I wanted. As much as I loved the excitement of our lives, I longed to live here in peaceful solitude every once in a while. I wished to be able to escape here and just forget the outside world for a while, forget everything but my physical desires, forget anything complicated and just live in the simplicity of simple human functions.

I was sore, definitely, but I can't remember the last time I felt this content, this happy. I wanted to always be able to feel like this.

Feeling Namjoon slip behind me, laying his head on my shoulder, his hands slipping around my waist and resting over mine, I wondered if he felt the same way.

There was still so much that I didn't know about him. Maybe the dreams were just my subconscious trying to make up facts about him so I felt closer to him.

But he didn't know that much about me either, and I didn't see him having dreams about it. Maybe that's just because I'm so wrapped up in my own dreams. I never notice if he's sleeping soundly or not.

"Namjoon?" I waited for the tired hum in response, and then I took the risk. "I want to live here. Can we live here someday?"

He didn't respond for a while, and I wondered if I had been too brash, too forward, too hopeful for him, if I had thrown him off. Who knows the intensity of his feelings for me outside of the sexual realm. Maybe I was reading into this far too much.

"Okay." It was a simple response, but I grinned anyways, the uneasy feeling bursting into a hopeful bliss.

He pulled away and I turned around, seeing a sheepish look on his face.

"I kind of ripped this...." He looked apologetic and embarrassed as he handed me my shirt, and I laughed at the wide slit at the top, splitting the collar into two separate parts. I slipped it over my head, easily now that the collar was loose enough to easily fit through.

"I know," I sent him a sly smirk, licking my lips, "it was kind of hot, you were too impatient wanting me."

He took a challenging step towards me, his own smirk flaring up on his face. "Ah, but I wasn't the one begging and pleading for you." He gave me a confident smile, his hand reaching out to trace my cheeks.

"That's because you didn't need to speak it, your body gave you away." I looked up at him, a devious grin on my face as he leaned down to kiss me.

He pulled away before I could even reach for him, and laughed at my disappointed face.

"Whatever. As great as this is, we need to get going. The boys probably lit at least half of our stuff on fire by now."

As we walked to the door, I noticed a rack of scarves next to it, along with an invitation to take one, please.

They were thick and beautiful, with intricate designs on them. Some of magnificent birds, other of graceful flowers, each of them colourful.

Namjoon laughed, grabbing one and tossing it to me.

"As much as I love seeing my marks on you, you can't go out like that. It wouldn't be appropriate for everyone else to see them."

I snorted, but I pulled the scarf on, adjusting so that it would hide my neck and lay over the tear in my shirt. It was smooth as silk, and it didn't rub against the sensitive skin in a way that made it hurt.

They really knew what they were doing. I guess they had to expect that people renting these houses didn't have the purest intentions, save for the pure ecstasy of it all.

I followed him out, taking one last look at the beautiful, traditional house and hoping to see it again soon.

"I want to live here."

"Okay."

I smiled, letting the dangerous hope build in my chest. I would live here with Namjoon one day.