Things have been tense lately. I get it. School is hard, you're into so many things. But what happened? Even when we DO talk, it's either idle chit chat or an uproaring fight. I could take it in the beginning, sure. It was like a game. I would try and calm you and you would reward me with love. All is fair in love and war, right? Maybe. But that would never be the point. In the beginning, it was like a puzzle. All the pieces fit, and perfection was....there. It's not like it was perfect, you know? Because nothing is. Everything has a dark side. We never know what happens behind closed doors. And I guess maybe it's better sometimes if we don't. Is ignorance bliss? Would I hurt less if I hadn't known of my own demise...Would I be less...broken if I hadn't known anything at all? So here you are. Standing in front of me with the perfect mask of apology.
Are you going to kiss me or not? Don't just stand there staring, do something. Kiss me or hit me, show me the emotions you've been hiding all this time....Your eyes are the perfect canvas of sorrow. I've seen it so many times it's sickening. I don't know how much longer I can handle this game. I'm falling apart and I just can't handle the charade.
I don’t know what to say…if you don’t love me, leave. I don’t want to be with someone who feels that they are wasting their time. Really, I don’t need it. WELL, you claim that you don’t love me anymore, not like when we first met and you throw that in my face everytime we have some sort of disagreement; so go. Leave. I don’t want to be with you either, if that’s how you feel towards me. I can’t live a phony life, especially when it comes to my heart. I won’t allow for it. I’ll lick my wounds and move on. So, go. I’ll make it easy for you. Go. I’m not going to hold you back—I know you’re not happy so why stay? Why be with someone you aren’t in love with? That’s horrible…it’s just as bad as leaving someone you are in love with….We’ve tried, we really have and I am giving you permission to leave me…I think, yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s what you need.
You bring up all these old incidents that happened long ago. And apologies aren't good enough for you so I'm at a loss. I thought this game would have been fun. That it would be worth it. But even if it is, I don't think I can handle it now.
So tell you what. Go find some self respect, and some respect in general, and then you can come crying to me. but until then? I'm through.
