I knew of everything you said about me. The angry red slashes marked the fair sheet of porcelain in return. They danced darkly and gracefully across the canvas, reminding me of my imperfection. Words threaded with crosses and paths. Unintelligably marred together to form the larger pattern. All of it, however true, pissed me off. My escape had been ruined. You asked me and my temper lashed viciously, but my guard has slipped. The walls I've spent ages forging have almost been penetrated. No, I have to maintain perfect control. I couldn't let you in. No, far too risque. Too much danger, too much pain. Yet, you found your way in anyways.
I guess it gives you a high. It was a rush. You knew something about me no one knew. I knew about you too. About your struggle, your want, and the desire to change. We were inseperable. You found out about my pretty little artwork and made me promise never to do it again. But you know what? I broke that so many times. Yet...you never left. There must be some force, some higher power that keeps us together. You were my better half. I wonder sometimes why you remain by my side. The frimy inhabitants of the alley I have been too scared to leave are so below what you can be. You spilled your heart to keep me from writing in red. I cannot count how many times I've broken the promise that strung us together.
We bonded over our tradgedies and laughed at our mistakes. While others came and left our little wallflower party, you and I were stuck. I was rather helpless at solving your provlems. Your kind of brokenness was new to me. I won't ever let you fall into my addictive state of cross roads decorating your forearms.
Your eyes lingered only for seconds over my latest disaster-piece. The shame within my heart is renewed. However...I find a familiar comfort in the situation. Even though I have fallen yet again, I can't help but be motivated to try even harder when you remind me ever so softly that I'm never alone.
Sincerely,
Miss "Not Always Perfectly Content"
