We went to awards and our duet placed 4th. Fabian and his mom had mysteriously left after our argument, and all of the team was awkward. On our ride home, Annie sat next to me. I looked out the window at the rain pouring down, and Annie placed her hand on my shoulder. "It's going to be okay." She said. I kept staring out the window & started thinking about the baby. It was partially my fault I was having this baby anyway, and I always had wanted to be a mom, but it would be hard being a single parent. Plus, my dance career. I wasn't a normal teenage girl who just went to normal high school and was maybe in a few clubs. I was a highly trained and nationally ranked dancer. And I wasn't really ready to just throw that all away for a baby. I had been trained in dance since I was 1 and 1/2 years old, and my mom had given up her social life and spent thousands of dollars on my dance career, and I couldn't lose that. On the other hand though, I wasn't a fan of the dance competitions. Sure I loved to dance and perform, but I hated the competitive atmosphere and being stressed to win every week. I definitely didn't want to abort my baby because the baby would feel all the pain and I couldn't let my kid suffer because of my mistake. Adoption would be good because then I wouldn't have to raise the child on my own, and my child could have a mother and a father. Open adoption would be nice because then I could stay in touch with my kid, and I had heard wonderful stories of open adoptions with teen pregnancies when the real teen mom is like extended family, while the kid still gets a set of parents. Plus, I didn't have much money or time to raise a child. So, that night as we were riding home, I made the tough decision to do an open adoption. The next decision was though even harder: what to do about staying on the team, and my life after my baby was born.
