A couple weeks after the torture lunch, my mom and I went to the adoption agency I had chose to talk about the steps we had to take. My agent was a very nice lady In her mid 60's. She had a warm smile and short hair, and she gave us lots of options. I explained to her that I wanted to do an open adoption with a family that would love my daughter as much as I did. And with that, she looked through the family profiles with me, and I saw a couple that I liked and wanted to meet with. They were in their late 20's and had just gotten married, and they were looking to start a family. I scheduled a lunch with them for the next week, and then me and my mom left the adoption agency and we went to get frozen yogurt. I had really weird cravings during my pregnancy, and one of them was warm frozen yogurt with blueberries. So, my mom bought me frozen yogurt and put blueberries on it at the toppings bar, and then we took it home and put it in the microwave. It was soupy and warm, but the blueberries were cold and awesome. I loved it even though my mom was extremely weirded out, and then I took a picture of it and sent it to a group message of the team. They immediately responded back with all kinds of emojis, and I knew they were all laughing at the dance studio. I continued taking my dance classes and eating weird food cravings, and eventually it was time for my lunch with the family I was interested in. When I walked in my ankles were all swollen and looked disgusting, and I was wearing a baggy old sweatshirt with paint stains on it since it was the only thing that actually fit me. When we sat down with them, the wife said that I looked good for being 7 months pregnant which made me feel a little bit better about my looks. The couple talked about their lifestyle and where they lived, and then they told us how they met which brought back bad memories to me. They had explained to us that they met when they were around 13, but they were forced to bond together, and eventually they fell in love and they had dated ever since until they had gotten married almost a year ago. Their story reminded me of Fabian and I's and brought back memories about how we had first met and our story, but I had to move on from him since he ditched me and our daughter and left our team without any notice or real reason. I knew that someday I was going to run into him somewhere since the world of dance and normalcy was very small somehow, but I hoped that when that day came, we were much older and he was especially more mature. After our lunch, I liked the couple even more, and then I called the adoption agent and told her I wanted to go with that family. She was exited and happy, and later that day she called the family and they were very exited and happy. I scheduled when I wanted to fill out paperwork, and then I went to ballet technique class even though I could only do some of the footwork. The rest of the time I sat in a chair in the corner and worked on toe stretching while watching the class. I also would help out around the studio, helping fix and sew costumes, and running music and giving my feedback while watching my teammates perform their competition dances. I missed being able to dance like normal, because when I was truly dancing from my heart, I felt free because that was who I was meant to be. Even though I missed dancing fully and my old body without 20 extra pounds, it was good to be around my teammates and dance friends.
