Pas De Deux

Chapter 15

Trigger warnings again : Rape, abuse, manipulative themes, etc.

***

I walked passed my old school, conscious of the time. It was 6:35 and Tommy wanted me home in ten minutes to make him dinner. It had been six weeks since we moved in together, Tommy was supporting me financially but not emotionally. My family wasn't speaking to me, I texted Caleb a few days ago to check how he was holding up and he said that mum and dad won't even mention me. They say that one day I'll come crawling back to them and they won't help me. Tommy said good riddance.

I scuttled down the street, looking back to my school sadly, oh how things had changed in the past few weeks. But I didn't miss it, I was free in a way. Tommy began texting me as soon as the clock struck quarter-to.

"Poppy where are you?"

"You'd better not be with anyone. I didn't say you could meet anyone."

"Bring home chips if you're going to be late. I'm starving and I can't be arsed waiting for you to cook something."

"Where even are you? Did you go back to that dance studio?"

I sighed, feeling the tears roll onto my cheeks. "I'm sorry Tommy, I'm almost home I've just gotten out of Tesco. Do you want chips?"

"Ffs Poppy I said I wanted chips do you even listen to me?"

I could tell that he was in a bad mood but he couldn't help it. He was wanting to find a job but he was struggling, it was hard on him because he had been rejected from so many places.

I got Tommy his chips and took them home, pausing before I opened the door, fixing my hair, wiping away the last of my tears and plastering a fake smile on my face.

"Hey Tommy" I smiled at him on the sofa watching TV. he didn't glance in my direction, only grunting and holding out his hand for his chips.

"Don't you want a plate sweetie?" I asked.

"Who you calling sweetie?" He snapped. I apologised and handed him the bag.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I muttered and only got a grunt in return again.

Locking the door behind me and playing my hands on the side of the sink I tried to compose myself. Tommy was just stressed. He loved me. I loved him. Everything is perfect. This is normal. I looked into the mirror above the sink and saw a girl I didn't recognise. She was skinny, exhausted and didn't have any light in her eyes. I was always skinny, but you could never see my cheekbones, I was always tired but I never had shadows under my eyes that were purple, and my eyes always shone - especially when I laughed. Now I felt like I had no reason to laugh. Tommy has started to control my life. How much I ate, how much I slept, where I went, how I dressed... And it was worrying me that it was a little unhealthy.

Taking my phone out of my pocket I sat on the edge of the bath and snapchatted Tara.

"Be honest, do I look too skinny?" I sent her a mirror selfie of me, with my top lifted up a little so you could see some of the ribs through my skin.

She messaged back immediately. "Oh my gosh yes. And what are those bruises?"

I was confused, what bruises? Then I realised, you could see my hips and wrists in the photo. Tommy would hold me down every night and force me to have sex. I was okay with it at first because it's how you show someone you love them, but once I started to say no, Tommy would get angry and he would push and shove me, eventually holding me down.

"Nothing lol, just the light. Thx anyway" I messaged back, not wanting her to know about Tommy.

I went back to the living room and sat next to Tommy on the sofa, reaching for one of his chips.

"Nope, you can't have one. Don't want to be fat do you?" He said.

I shook my head and sat back on the sofa, trying to focus on the TV and ignore the texts I was getting from Tara. I would deal with her later.